Monday, February 06, 2006

I have an addiction

So I am addicted to coke. Not the white powder, nose candy variety. The brownish liquid variety. Ya know, Coca-cola. It is so bad my mom will phone me to tell me that I am at an increased risk of diabetes, heart problems, blah blah blah. My sister will phone to tell me that if I quit drinking a can af coke a day in a year I will lose 15lbs. Ok fine. But I drink upwards of a litre of coke a day. Sometimes two. Anyway this finally came back to bite me in the ass this past weekend.

I wake up at 8am with a major migraine. So I decide to go back to sleep to sleep it off. Later I wake up and have a fever. Adam is not here because he doesn't care(jk) he's out skidooing. I spend the day on the couch watching cartoons, drinking coke, tea and a smattering of water. Adam returns home around 6pm and I make him make me some chicken noodle soup. Then I have ice cream and a glass of coke. 9pm we go to bed.

I wake up in the middle of the night with a really high fever but cannot sweat. Now I'm no doctor but I know that is not a good sign. Wake up Adam to get me a cold cloth. Doesn't work I only succeed in warming up the cloth. Still refuse to drink water. Ok not refuse but now it's I can't . Because I am so dehydrated that water makes me nautious. Now I'm not puking yet however I cannot stomach anything. I get up at 7am and phone my boss
me: Lydia I cant come in to work today. I have that flu that's going around and I need to go to the hospital.
lydia:who is this?
me:cindy. can i bring you the float?
lydia: yeah sure.
Hangs up phone. Ok now I need to manage to get dressed without falling over on my face cause I have NO balance whatsoever. This is accomplished with only minor swearing. Adam is still in bed because he thinks I'm being a baby. I start the car and wait. While I'm waiting in the kitchen my legs give out and I sink to the floor. So I decide to stay there until he's ready. My dog Jenny is worried about me so she comes and rests her head on my lap. Finally he's ready to go but he is BITCHY. This is my checklist of things I need to bring with me:
-ice water(that I cant drink)check
-health card check
-garbage can(for puking) check
-roll of toilet paper(cause my nose is running like a leaky faucet) check
-bitchy husband to drive me? check
We are now ready to go except he has to stop to get himself coffee because to him this is no big deal
Adam: you know this is a waste of time. they are just going to tell you to drink lots of water and sleep it off.
me: I bet that I get admitted.
A: Whatever.
me:selfish bastard. you dont care if I die.
A: you're just being a drama queen. I'd feel more sorry for you if you weren't sick all the time.
me: Yes but in all the years you've known me have I EVER asked you to take me to the hospital?
no response cause he knows that I have never.
me: So there you go. Shut up and drive.
8am: We arrive at the hosptal and check in. I give the nurse a run down of my symptoms and then wait until the doctor gets there. WTF! why is there no doctor there? IN THE EMERGENCY WING? Anyhow. We wait and wait and wait until about 8:45 when I'm finally told to go lay down on a bed. They gave me a cup to pee in but seriously i had no fluid in me to pee. Finally the doctors show up (yes I get 2 of them, hot young guy and older nice lady). They do the check up of me and decide that yes its the flu and SEVERE dehydration. So they have suggestions since I cannot stomach fluids.
Hottie: Well we cn give you some fluids through an IV to help with rehydration since you cant keep it down...
me:makes face (cause I haaate needles they always blow up my veins when they try to do this.)
Hottie:Ok or we can give you some gravol rectally to help settle your stomach then keep you in for observation while we make you drink litres of fluid.
me: Umm.. what was that first option again?
hottie leaves and the doctor lady decides to start the IV for me. But first she has to tie the rubber band around my arm to make my veins jump out (only they dont ).
doctor lady: muttering to herself. where are these veins. mutter mutter. moves to other arm. Says something like "Good thing you arent a junkie you'd never find a vein." Decides to go for the big vein inside my elbow. Ties it up and then jabs the needle in.
me:flinches. OUCH! Oooh look at all that blood falling everywhere. (Turns white). Um I think I'm gonna be sick now. Proceeds to vomit into a paper tray. I go into shock very easily.
DL to Nurse: Oh I think we just made her feel worse. (tries to whisper) Well I blew this vein so maybe you should try.
nurse: ok now just relax. (yeah ok right). Um uhoh. I just blew this vein inside her hand now too. (says to other nurse) go get me a 24 needle.
ON: But that size is for infants.
nurse:yes well this girl is so sick her veins are the size of a two year olds.
Finally they manage to get it in and I am now worse than when I came in.
About an hour later Adam finally gets worried enough about me and makes the nurses let him back to see me.
Adam:Oh. You are sick.(well no shit)He holds my hand and tells me to rest. (is it sick that I like seeing him worried about me?) the first bag is emptied and they hook up another one for me. Once that is done hot doctor comes back to unhook my IV for me and then tells me my body was thisclose to shutting down because I was dehydrated. He then proceeds to utter the most upsetting phrase I have ever heard. "Now no carbonated beverages for you for at least a week." I start to cry. Adam laughs.

No comments:

Post a Comment