Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Boating Incident

I can't exactly tell you this story as though I was there because unfortunately I was not on the boat. I wish I were.

The three stooges (Dad, Idiot, and Zak) had all been drinking. Since they got up in the morning. And at this point it is about 4 in the afternoon. Marie and I went with them to dock the boat so we could drive the truck back to our side of the lake. Watching them trying to unload the boat was really really funny. They had forgot that there were tie downs on the back end of the boat and it took them all about 10 mins to figure out WHY the boat wasn't coming off the trailer. So we left them at that, and drove back to our land.

About a half an hour later the guys come up to our site. They had been chasing seagulls in the boat. At this point it bears mentioning that my parents have a seadoo jet boat, with twin 80hp engines, so chasing seagulls is easy. As long as you don't quit paying attention for even a split second. Because as Zak learned, you can and will be thrown from the boat. Even if you are kinda holding on withone arm, it won't be enough. Apparently the other two turned their heads only to see Zak flying ass over tea kettle into the water. He managed to save his hat, but forgot completely about his 150$ sunglasses. Lake 1 Zak 0.

Later on Zak and Marie went out on the seadoo and he lost his hat this time. Lake 2 Zak 0. Sometimes men never learn.

After these incidents he decided to not make fun of my dad's insistence upon wearing a life jacket (especially since he can't swim). And also to never quit paying attention in a boat that has a cord attached to the key so if the driver is thrown out, the boat engines are killled.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Groping Incident

So we are out at the lake and the keg has been cracked and Hubby has been drinking since about noon. It is now about 10 pm. Roughly. Sarah is there to visit along with her boyfriend Ray.

I get up to go to the bathroom and come back to see that Sarah is sitting in my seat. Whatever, no big deal. Mine was warmer because it was closer to the fire but that's fine I was hot anyway. So I sit down in her seat.

About five minutes passes and hubby gets up to stumble around the campsite a bit. I think nothing of it, and truth be told, was kinda spacing out. Next thing I know, I hear this panicked voice coming from Sarah, "What is he doing?????" I look over to see him leaning over the back of what was my seat, and hugging her from behind. The funny part is that not only is she whacking him with a stick from the ground, but Ray hasn't even said a word about him molesting his girlfriend. We are all staring. I am laughing like I'm high.

Eventually he realizes that this woman doesn't feel like me ( I wonder what gave it away, maybe the fact that she was pulling away from him)and he pulls away. Absolutely mortified, he couldn't even look at her. And kept apologizing profusely for the next twenty minutes.

For some reason Ray assumed he was just grabbing her from behind to pull her backwards off her chair. Which wouldn't have been very nice.

All I could say was at least he didn't GRAB her boobs. Although the extra handful (bitch) would've clued him in alot quicker.

First Pre-Natal Appointment

I had my first prenatal appointment today. It went ok, I guess. The doctor who is standing in for my real doctor is kind of incompetent.

You see, I have a heart murmur. I have since I was born. She couldn't find it. Like at all. And then looked at me like I was just making shit up. So whatever, she made a note of it in my chart but kinda didn't really believe me. And she is from New Zealand, so I also couldn't really understand what she was saying to me.

Afterwards, she hands me the form that I need to go to the hospitol to get my bloodwork done. As we've learned in the past, I don't do needles very well. So after waiting in the waiting room for like a half an hour, when finally called in for the bloodwork I tell the lady that I am a fainter. And my veins blow up very easily. So she uses a small needle, but I'll get to that. She is asking me all sorts of questions for the forms she has to fill out and our conversation goes something like this:

Her: So, the babies fathers last name?

Me: Same as mine. Then I spell it for her

Her: Oh, gives me real funny look and pauses uncomfortably, well that's unusual these days. Doesn't happen so much. Another funny look like I'm lying

Me: Well I guess that's what happens when you get married.

Seriously, the bitch. Just because I'm young that must mean I'm just sleeping around. I bet she would've never said that to someone even 5 years older than me.

So I came back from my appointment glad that the doctor I seen wasn't really my doctor and also wanting to punch the lab tech. Not looking forward to having to go back every month to see miss opinionated.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Back Home

So we are back now. It feels good to be home. Not that I didn't enjoy the trip, but after a certain amount of time you just want to go home.

There are many stories I want to tell, but each is so funny they deserve their own post. But needless to say, once the keg was bought, that's when all the funny things started to happen. Like the fire incident, the groping incident, the boating incidents and of course the funniest one of all the moonyass incident. Each will come at their own time. And having been sober the whole time I remember each incident without the fog of beer. Dammit.

Marie and I didn't really see eye to eye very well this trip down, mostly because I refused to put up with her bullshit. For once. It seems lately I won't just walk away from a fight. But her telling me I was not really feeling sick, just playing the pregnancy card was really starting to get on my nerves. And Hubby's too, cause when I got really mad he was the one to hear it.

Anyway, that's all for now. Hope you guys didn't miss me too badly.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Oh, have you been waiting?

Did I promise an update with an announcement?

Did I say I would do it right away?

Oh, I did? I meant whenever I felt like it.

I've been busy lately what with the visiting and all. And meeting my new neice. She is beautiful. Although, all babies kinda look alike to me.

Umm have you guys been waiting for this announcement? No, I haven't really been all that subtle about it if you know what I'm talking about, you could probably guess it.

Anyway, just so Sarah can stop checking every ten minutes to see if it's official yet (she has work to do) ...

I'm pregnant.

No Marie didn't freak out as much as I thought she would. There were no tears, or yelling. My dad however decided that he's not ready to be a grandpa, so he needed to have a drink.

My mom claims she knew. I'm not sure about that. But I'll give it to her.

Janet (my MIL) said congrats but didn't really sound all that convincing. Whatever.

So that's my big news.

Monday, August 14, 2006

In which they sink to a new low.

I was so looking forward to going home to Saskatchewan today. Don't worry, I am still going (once the car is fixed) (what doesn't your car break down every time you want to go somewhere?) (mine do), I just am not as excited about it.

I received a phone call yesterday from my four year old neice because her mother didn't feel like talking to me to tell me that their trip down to Saskatchewan was ok. Do you know what she said to me?

"I hear your stupid. That's ok I like you anyway.'

That's right, that's exactly what she said. While I could hear her mother and grandmother laugh in the background. Real classy huh? Involving the four year old in making my life hell. Needless to day, I was very hurt and upset. Also very pissed off. Although Hubby was alot more angry than I was. Especially considering that when I asked her to put her mom on the line they hung up the phone. HUNG UP THE PHONE!

So, I think I will pass on going over to visit them. And I will have nothing to do with the telling of our announcement to them. Fuckers.

I am really excited for the fireworks that I bought though.

Oh also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN! Hahahaa you're 22 now! You're OLD. Love ya!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Maybe we should just stay home

On the weekend we went out boating with the people who used to rent our house. It was really fun. We brought along our propane bbq because we were told that there were fire bans. Although, while out on the middle of the lake Hubby realized that he had forgot to bring the propane tank. Ooops, looks like we will be starting a fire. Then on the way back across the lake at the end of the day, we ran out of gas. That's right, in the middle of the lake. So he and the other guy were rowing. Unsuccessfully I might add, because we were going in circles. I was getting annoyed as it was getting dark and I was hungry. So I pulled out the whistle from our boat safety kit and whistled like our boat was going down. Eventually someone came and got us, so we were pulled to safety. Which is a good thing because one of the oars broke in the harbour.

Then while driving home we watched a guy on a bike hit a baby black bear (one of 3 on the road) and wipe out. So we stopped and he was okay. So was the bear I might add, he ran away into the bushes.

So that was my weekend. Kinda funny, I think those two people who were with us think we are cursed with extremely bad luck.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Okay, So I May Be a Little Lazy Lately

Sorry, that post was up for waaaay longer than absolutely necessary. We had company come to visit from Saskatchewan. We had fun. Booze was consumed by everyone else. Someone had to be sober enough to drive.

So anyway, that's my excuse. And also on Wednesday I went to C-town to write some tests from my class. Remember those tests I wrote about mmmm a month ago? These were the first ones I have written since then. I THOUGHT I had done alright, but it turned out that I didn't do quite as well as I thought. So now I have to get almost a hundred percent on the last six tests. That I get to write on Tuesday. So my long weekend will be spent studying. Incessantly.

I am getting so excited to be going home in a little over a week. I haven't been home since mothers day 05. I miss it. A little part of me will always think of NB as home.

I bought $170 worth of fireworks for that weekend. Big ones. Fun ones. Fireworks that will blow your mind. As you can tell I am very very excited for that.

Also stay tuned for an upcoming announcement. This will be posted from Saskatchewan.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Warning! This may be too much information

"Cindy, will you give me head?"


"Why not?"

"My nose is plugged."

"I'll give you a straw..."