Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Disappearing Act

So I kinda just disappeared there for a bit hey?

Well it's been a very interesting couple of weeks anyway.

My parents showed up on April 7th and we all started waiting (im)patiently for the little bugger to make his arrival. And of course he has a stubborn streak so he kept us waiting. But my dads threats about chasing me with the truck to get my labor going were starting to sound like he actually would. So I took matters into my own hands and insisted that I be induced. Immediately.

Things were all set to go for wednesday morning.

However Tuesday night my dad and husband decided they were going to go rock picking up the mountain. Drunk. About an hour later they came back looking sheepish. I knew something was up immediately. Turns out they went up somewhere they shouldn't have and had to slide down the hill on their asses. Well my dad slid funny and would up barrell rolling down the hill and somehow sliced the palm of his hand. Deep. Deep enough that it didn't hurt. Might've also had something to do with the whiskey.

So we load into the truck to head to the hospital. While we are waiting my dad is 'exploring' his hand to see just how bad it is. He grossed out the nurse and one doctor, that's how bad it was. Anyway, they had to call in extra nurses because of how busy it was and the surgeon to stitch his hand.

Then the doctor who is supposed to be doing my induction the next day pulls me aside to tell me that I may get bumped because they will be short staffed the next day because of how busy it was. In other words because of my dad. Boy was I mad.

Anyway the next morning rolls around and thankfully the still attempt the induction. I am inserted with a cervadil strip, and it hurt because the Dr. has short fingers. So I get strapped up to the monitor and have to wait for an hour before I can go.

Before I can leave they inform me that I am to come back in if my contractions become regular or my water breaks. If not, then the next morning they will start me on the pitocin drip. So I'm off to spend a night in agony with contractions not quite regular and no water breaking. I go in the next day expecting to be admitted only to learn that one of the surgeons has gone out of town so there is no c-section back up (or epidural) so they cannot continue with the induction.

Cue very mad angry pregnant woman.

So after hours of fucking around I finally convince the Dr. on call that I will be having this baby if I have to cut him out myself. So I am sent to another hospital about an hour away. Which is fine by me. Just get him out.

Off we head to EKRH on friday morning (couldn't go in on thursday because he was already inducing 3 other women. Which sounded promising to me) to be there at 8 am.

I am now settled into my room which is nothing more than a glorified closet because I am not officially in labour so I get the assessment room. In walks my new Dr. Now I should point out that I had a female Dr my whole pregnancy and had been quite set on a female dr. But I guess if you are desperate it doesn't matter anymore.

The guy is gorgeous. At least 6'5" tall, blonde hair blue eyes, south african accent. Giant hands. Even hubby is eyeing him up. It's obvious he doesn't want this man looking at my hooha.

He sits down to go over everything with me and flat out tells me there is no way I have gestational diabetes. Good to know. So i go over all my medical history with him and tell him about some problems I had been having. So he looks at myswelling and immediately orders some tests to be run. He informs me that my Dr is an idiot and that this is a high risk pregnancy because of my heart condition and that with the severity of my swelling he believes that i may have pre-eclampsia. Which I suspected for a while, but my Dr. didn't seem worried.

Test come back to show that my liver is shutting down. I was right. IT was pre-eclampsia not just an over indulgence of food that had me looking like a whale.

Anyway, another go of cervadil to see if that gets us anywhere. That night the contractions were so bad that I had to have a shot of morphine to get some sleep that night. Adam slept right through the pain I was in. I was rubbing my own back it hurt so much. I wanted to smother him. And shots in the ass hurt really badly, btw.

Next morning Dr Hottie walks in and next thing I know, there is a gush of fluid and eeeewww! He broke my water. No warning at all. He says alright, lets get you moved into another room and we'll start the pitocin drip shortly. Out he walks. I am a bit surprised, things are now moving very quickly and I want my mommy. Adam gets on the cell and calls them at the house. I tell them to hurry the fuck up and get here.

The contractions are ridiculously strong and I cant even talk through them. Adam is putting so much counter pressure on my back he's complaining that his hands hurt. Which nearly gets him killed. I am holding off on the epidural until my mom gets there and I swear they are taking their sweet ass time about it.

My nurse for the day is a sadistic bitch and I hate her with every fiber of my being. When its finally time for the epidural the guy asks if I can sit up or just roll onto my side so he can insert the needle. Bitchface says to him 'oh she can get up, she just doesn't like to' and proceeds to reef me upright. On the wrong side of the bed so I have to move twice. Through killer contractions. And then she kept trying to move me during my contractions to arch my spine. And she wasn't doing it right either so after being forcibly held in an uncomfortable position through three contractions the anesthesiologist informs her that my back isn't curved out enough. So I give my mom a look and she brushes the nurse away and helps me do it properly.

Two hours pass and I LOVE the epidural man. Dr. Hottie comes in checks that it's time to push. He informs me that I have one hour to get him out or its c-section for me because they are worried about my heart, and also now his heart rate has started to drop through the contractions. Down into the 60's and I'm starting to get really worried.

AFter some time of pushing and not a whole lot of progress my mom is like "come on Cindy that was a good one! I can see his head! PUSH PUSH!" The Doctor looks at her and says "Don't lie to her you can not." And I giggle a little inside my head because she got busted lying.

Time is running out on the clock and I'm being told that he is going to use the vaccuum to try and help. He gets it attached and uses it through one push. Not a whole lot of progress after that and I hear him telling the nurses to bump a surgery because I am going to be heading in pretty quickly. Now at this point I should tell you that I can feel everything going on down below and I am not happy. Two good pushes later and out comes his head. Without the help of the vaccuum ( I caught him off guard) and he's telling me not to push for a minute (Adam later tells me his cord was around his neck) and then out he comes.

Dr. Hottie plops him on my chest and I'll be perfectly honest here when I tell you I was thinking eeew! he's slimy and bloody get him off me. But I held him like a good mommy. The cord was cut and they took him away to clean him up and I could tell Adam was torn between staying with me and seeing his son. So I sent him to go look at his son while I got stitched. It was so bad that the doctor wouldn't tell me how many stitches I got. My mom counted about 10. But as I mentioned before, the epidural had worn off so I was very vocal about wanting something now to make me not feel this please. But even with a local anesthetic I could still feel it. Adam takes this point in time to joke with the doctor "So I'll see you in 9 months" the doctor looks at him and is like "come on give your wife a break. 10 months" And I want to kick them both in the head.

Tristan Adam

7lbs 60z

20 inches tall

36 centimeter head thank you very much.

adam said after watching labor I could name him whatever the hell I wanted. Haha I got my way.

His Apgar scores were 9 and 10. I surprised dr. hottie by knowing what that was.