Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Lucky? I think not.

Generally speaking I have good luck. I can talk my way out of almost any ticket. And nothing too bad usually happens to me. However, Hubby has the worst luck. Everything bad happens to him. 4 Speeding tickets in one month, crashing my car into a mountain, his family... But speaking philosophically here, shouldn't my luck cancel his out? I mean my luck versus his, we should break even.

Unfortunatley that is not the case. We just found out yesterday, we don't get the fridge with the house. AND the washing machine doesn't work. So two new expenses that we will have to somehow manage to find a way to pay for. Because it's not like we can go without these things. Which sucks. Especially since I am going to be without a job soon.

I think I may just decide to pick fruit for the summer. Apparently they make pretty good money. And I'll get a pretty awesome tan too.

But back to my point, I think Hubby may just have a nervous breakdown. Because he cannot handle stress very well.

Also this is a picture of my pond at our new house. Not sure how I missed it the first time, but I did. Those rocks come up to my waist. Needs some work, but it should turn out very pretty.

Shut up. I can't figure out how to turn the picture. Just tilt your heads.

PS Movie Quote was from She's All That. You know, Freddie Prinze Jr., Rachel Leigh Cook. From 1999? Whatever. It's a cute movie. Shut up. It is too.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Serious? As A Heart Attack.*

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Does anyone still come here anymore?

(emptiness echoes)

Didn't think so. I've been busy,ummm packing. Yeah that's right. I've been packing. Not just being really lazy. Packing.

I had a very fun weekend. Okay so it was really just Friday night, but whatever.

We went out for dinner, bowling and a movie with a couple friends of ours. (Actually it's the people we will be staying with.) Sooo much fun. We had dinner at Joey's Only. Which was ok. I'm not a huge fan of seafood, but I was outnumbered.

The movie we went to was The Da Vinci Code. It was pretty good. I didn't really like that they changed some stuff from the book, but overall, I liked it. Kinda long though. Maybe just cause I had to pee really badly.

The best part of the evening however, was the glow in the dark bowling. Did you know that a white bra will show through a purple shirt in those places? I do now. For those of you who don't know my husband, he has this thing where he is really good at almost everything he does. It's really annoying. Bowling is not my sport (well sports aren't really my thing.) I was doing actually pretty good (for me) until about the fourth frame where upon I pulled a muscle in my ass. Don't ask me how, cause I don't know, but it happens everytime I bowl. So then my game went to shit. Hubby took this very personally and started to get VERY serious. Shouting things at me like "come on, put some effort into it" or "just line it up with the arrows" and "try a little bit would ya".

People often think I am making it up when I tell them how upset me doing bad at things makes him. Our friends seen for the first time how serious he gets with me sucking at games or sports.

And boy did we make fun of him after that. Everytime he got, say, a spare instead of a strike we would yell out "come on put some effort into it" or heaven forbid he not strike anything down then I got to pull out the "You know honey, it really disappoints me when you don't even TRY to do good." At one point I was nearly crying on the floor with laughter because he was SO serious. Poor guy.

PS My ass still hurts. I must be really out of shape.

* Bonus point to anyone who can pinpoint what movie the title of this post is from. (Bonus points do not really do anything. Correct guess winner will have the 'privilege' of me mentioning their name in my next post. Whenever that may be)

Edited to add: Comment people. I am a comment whore, and feel unappreciated when nobody comments. So, please, say something. Please?

Friday, May 19, 2006


We are going to be homeless for 15 days. How horrible is that? With two big dogs and a stupid bad cat.

We will be homeless due to the fact that the people who bought our house take possession on June 15th. We do not get possession of our new house until July 1st. Because they fucked us around. Bastards.

So we will be staying with our friends and their two kids. Which should be fun. I love their kids, who are 3 and 2. Also referred to as the cutest little kids ever. Don't tell my sister in law I said that. I don't know how well Hubby will deal... kids are scared of him usually. Actually we will be sleeping in their camper in their yard so as to not impose too much.

I hate having to ask this of them. I hate having to ask anything of almost anyone. Makes me feel bad. But there is nothing we can do about it because we won't be able to afford to stay in a motel. Or find one that takes so many animals. I guess this is what friends are supposed to do though, and they offered so....I wish I had family who lived nearer, then I would for sure without a doubt impose. But alas, they all live far away.

We get to put all of our stuff in storage for 15 days and will have to pay for storage for the whole month. I hope no mice live in those storage places because I would cry if anything happened to my furniture.

Anyway, feel for the poor homeless girl, whose new house only gets dial-up internet. I cry when I think of it.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Oh the Insanity

It's things like this that make me shake my head in confusion about the town where I live.

Earlier I was in "town" renting a movie and this girl I know who works next door to me says "You wanna come see my goat?"

I'm thinking 'I hope this isn't a euphemism.' but respond with "Sure"

So we leave the video store to go to her truck, she opens the door and standing on the seat is the cutest baby goat ever. I am immediately in love with this lovely little thing. I pick her up and walk back into the video store to show Hubby. Nobody even takes a second look to see the crazy girl who is holding a GOAT for christ sake. The thing is bleating like crazy and still nothing. Nobody even says to get that thing out of this store, it's not a barn you know. And really I was expecting it. I would've deserved it. It is a goat afterall.

Her name is Cricket.

Now I want a mini goat. HE says no. Spoilsport.

I wish I had a camera with me, because certain people don't truly believe that my town is that backwoods. Seriously, I am not making this shit up. But you can't make shit like this up. It's not possible.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Summer's Here

So this is what I do when I get bored or it's really close to summer. Sunday night my last night with Marie she looks to me and says "We should put some blonde highlights in your hair. It would look really good with the red." (which had really faded to a strawberry color.) I'm like sure why not. Hubby will love it. (he claims to be only attracted to blondes. Which is funny because I was his first blonde girlfriend)

WARNING! these are bad pictures. It was 11pm and I was wearing no makeup. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, before we 'played' with my hair(it was supposed to only be highlights only we put too many in so its pretty much all blonde.):

Needless to say Hubby was pretty happy to have his blonde wife back. Now maybe he will let me dye his hair back to black. We don't both need to have blonde hair.

Which do you guys think looks better? Let me know. I like knowing other peoples opinions. Even if I don't know you.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sheltered Life

Hi! I'm not dead. But I have been having such a blast in calgary, went wedding dress shopping with my sister today and it was so much fun, we even picked out her dress after two shops. And friday night marie and I went shopping for three hours. And then we went to a party and her fiancee whacked me in the nose in front of a room of people I had never met before. It was an accident of course, but there i am standing there trying not to cry and the more times Zak asks are you ok the harder it is not to cry.

BUT the funnest part about my trip so far has been going out to lunch with fellow blogger Rebecca Eckler. (heehee I'm name dropping, look how cool I am) We met downtown for lunch, so of course I had to take a cab because hubby gave me explicit instructions not to drive the truck anywhere after I got to marie's (which is big talk coming from the guy who smashed my car into a mountain). I had never been in a cab before in mylife. Yes I know, who hasn't but seriously, me. so I had to ask my big sister what the protocol was for seating. Do you really sit in the back? her response was "well I do, they usually smell, so you don't want to sit too close to them" (yes I used a stereotype, what of it?) Anyway, my cab driver was very nice and not at all a scary driver, it was quite pleasant until he started discussing president Bush and the war on Iraq. He was from Iraq, so i didn't know what to say. However I did agree that the only reason he is there is because of the oil (WOMD my ass, but anyway, I'm not political, so no I don't want to know what you think of my opinions on it), and then four firetrucks screamed by us to go to a fire (duh!) and it was interesting to see all the drivers in the cars going where the fuck do I go? And then my first ever cab ride ended and I headed off to lunch to meet Rebecca.

I was so nervous, I spent hours getting ready and changed my clothes like 14 times that morning. I even curled my hair and thats a big deal coming from such a pony tail girl. I'm a loser I know.

Lunch was awesome, i swear she must think that my in-laws are all certifiable (they are) and the town that I live in belongs in the backwoods of the deep south (ooh look! another stereotype. I'm on a roll tonight). i secretly call my town Salabamma. Shh! though don't tell them. I had so much fun I didn't want the lunch to end. I was having so much fun talking that I barely even touched my food. Once we finally ordered that is. Not that I could've ate anyway I was so nervous/excited.

After lunch i had to walk to my sisters work so we could go shopping. It was like 30 blocks away. I was wearing high heeled thongs and so by the time i finally found her work (I forgot what she said the address was) I had blisters that were so big they could've been another set of feet. But it was all worthwhile because I got told I was hot by some guy in a truck. I'm easily impressed.

and then the second of my oh my god I'm sheltered moments was taking the bus home with my sister. I had never been on a bus before. Nothing exciting or interesting happened except i got to pull the cord to make the bus stop at the next stop. I was pretty excited and Marie called me a loser. Which was fine, she does that alot.

So for the shopping because I know you are all dying to hear what I bought. 4 yes thats four new bathing suits bringing the count up to 28, a pair of sailor stlye pants that hubby will make fun of, a sweater shirt, a tshirt, a cowboy hat for in jamaica, and a tank top. By the time we were done my feet hurt so badly I could hardly walk(yes I had changed out of the flip flops). I complained so much Hubby gave me PERMISSION to buy new shoes. So after dress shopping today we did. White and blue Etnies, but i wasn't sure of the whiteness of the shoes because oh my god when they get dirty... but they were comfy and looked cute on so I bought them.

Anyway that's all I got for now, so I will probably post again on tuesday. Monday I will be driving all day then working at night, so i will be busy. but maybe i will post on Monday, keep all five of my readers on their toes. Maybe not though, so you'll just have to check and find out.

PS If the spelling in this post is bad it is not my fault, Marie's keyboard blows. Stupid Mac. Remind me never to get one.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

For Mom

Yes, yes I know, I'm early. But I'm leaving for five wonderful funfilled days without my husband in Calgary(I'm Freee!). So I might not be able to have time to post (I know, you guys will all be heartbroken)... or I might be posting constantly because Marie will be at work all day so gaaaa! the boredom. Or not. Who knows.


For my mom, who spent her whole life being the mom. Even when she lived at home she was the cinderella, cleaning the house and making dinner and having a curfew of 10pm every night(which was earlier than your younger sisters).

Then she met my dad (on a blind date), they dated for only a few months before they got married and shortly thereafter(more than nine months later, so no she wasn't pregnant then) she had my sister. At 22 years old. Then two years after that, they bought a towing business. My mom answered the phone 24 hours a day.

AND she was pregnant with me at the time too. Then I arrived, and she managed a baby, a two year old and a 24 hour business(and dad).

Then a little under two years later she had my little brother Sean. Prematurely(10 weeks early), and he almost died and so did she. But they both pulled through and as soon as she was out of the hospital she was back to work. Answering phones 24 hours a day, with three kids under the age of 5. With my dad gone alot in the truck working to support us.

And then the inevitable happened and she got pregnant with my youngest brother Mitchell (also 2 years later). She did this all with little to no outside support from anyone. All her family lived in BC, and we were the forgotten ones that almost nobody ever came to visit. Which was okay by us. Mostly.Her escapes from this came once a month when it was time for grocery shopping. And by escape I mean she took 4 unruly kids with her, for a torturous afternoon of hell in public.(BTW for those of you who don't know this, a family of 6 goes through 4 shopping carts of food in a month)(Safeway used to give out Gold Medal shopper cakes to her for free because we spent so much) People still ask her how she managed it. ("I used to see you out with those kids and wonder how you made it through that sane")

They finally bought an answering service when I was around 10 years old. So for the first time in over 10 years, she was not tied to the phone for 24 hours a day. She was FREEEEE!!!

Well sort of anyway. She still worked 9 hours a day at the shop answering the phone for our business and about 10 more businesses too.

How she managed to do all that and juggle ballet, my gymnastics, Marie's figure skating (and all that that entailed), baseball for everyone but me(the ball scared me), and everything Sean and Mitch did to cause all the trouble they did, the books for Vista Towing and all the cooking and cleaning and also the wonderful baking you did all the time, I will NEVER be able to figure out. God knows we were not much help.

So for everything you did for us, everything you gave up so we could have everything you never had, Thank you. I know that isn't enough, and it will never suffice even if I were to say it to you every day for the rest of my life, Thank you mom. Everything we are and everything we accomplish, we owe to you. Without you, I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't even be half the person I am now if it weren't for you. It is so hard to be so far away, but you are always in my thoughts and I miss you more and more every day.

I hope that when I do have kids, I can be even half the mother you were to us. You are my hero. And I love you.

Love always, your Birdie.

(PS Dad may have helped somewhere along the way too, so he also gets credit, but this is for you)

Monday, May 08, 2006

David Blaine freaks me out

Did anyone else watch his "trick" on tv?

Dude was in a water bubble for a week and then tried to hold his breath for nine minutes. NINE MINUTES PEOPLE. I'm pretty sure that he never made the whole nine, but still. (I missed it because some drunk guy came in and wanted to talk philosophy with me. Annoying bastard) He tried, and he came pretty damn close. Closer than I would've thought he could.

Can you imagine how wrinkly and painful that must've been? I hurt after being in the tub for an hour, nevermind a week.

I'm however not quite sure how this constitutes as a magic trick though. He claims its magic because he brings people together who normally wouldn't have anything in common. That's bullshit babble, not magic. However his real tricks do freak the shit out of me.

Like he pulled a womans tooth out of her mouth and then BLEW it back in. Her mouth was bleeding and everything. It was pretty fucking cool. However if I ever meet him and he asks me to trust him and then reaches for my teeth, I will bite his fingers off. My teeth have enough problems as it is, I don't need some magician pulling them out. But if he takes me to a roullette table and gives me money to bet I sure will go with him. Those girls won 3,200 dollars. For nothing. Well I'm sure they got picked because they had big boobs but whatever...

He also tied his shoelace by waving his foot around in the air and it tied itself. Could you imagine the drunk people you could fuck with with that? But the freakiest shit of all is when he levitates. That is the one trick of his I wish I could do. Although he does seem to be in pain after he does it, so I could do without that. I'm kinda suspicious of that trick though because they will only show it from behind, so I don't know.

There was also no reason whatsoever for this to be on tv for the length it was. I mean come on, the trick was under nine minutes, a half an hour would've been sufficient don't you think?

PS Thanks to the two people who left comments regarding the brokeback mountain question I had, that was pretty much what I thought, but wasn't sure. So thank you for clearing that up for me.
(I also like how many hits I get for my posts that have brokeback mountain in them. And gay. BTW I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Jake Gyllenhaal isn't gay. I got some hits searching for that too.)(Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't think he is. Not enough fashion sense.)(Imagine how many hits I'll get for this one...)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Brokeback Questions

I watched Brokeback Mountain last night, and there was something I just couldn't figure out. Now if you haven't seen it stop reading now, because my question is a spoiler.

OKay so I am assuming that if you are still reading you have already seen it or are on of those weird people who like to know what happens. If so you're wierd. I hate knowing. Anyway, back to the point, what I don't understand is this: Did Jack Twist (jake gyllenhal) actually die by the rim of his tire exploding into his face, or was he beat to death with the tire iron by other guys? If you know, please tell me because I watched this movie running on like 2 hours of sleep, so some things just didn't make sense to me.

Also never watch a movie about gay people with an immature man. Hubby kept giggling and saying "they're gay." every time they so much as looked at each other. I was kinda grateful when he finally fell asleep, then I could hear what was being said. Instead of "they're gay. look, they want each other. Are they gonna have sex again?" And I'll be honest, his giggling was getting pretty annoying. "Heehee they're lovers"

***Hubby would like the internet to know that I forced him to let me rent it. "I'm not gay. Just so you know."***

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Conversations with a Drunk

So he got home last night at about 1:30ish. Came to the wrong door. Could not get in the house. So once I let him in, I went back to the bedroom to try and sleep. But after about ten minutes of hearing nothing I started to get worried. I walk out to the door to find him sitting on the floor staring at his shoes.

After we get that sorted out, he comes to the room and I laugh at his attempts to undress himself but don't offer to help. 10mins later he's laying down beside me and he says "I'm not gay. Just so you know."

Other things he said while drunk last night are
-You like sister. (WTF, I think that's missing a few key words)
-This is just you and me being us.
-Are we running peas or corn tonight?
-I just love.....pets my head like a dog
-can't you just cuddle me back?
- Your period is wrong.

Three in the morning he decides he's hungry. So he gets up, goes to the kitchen and drops the pie from the fridge on the floor. Picks it up, eats it and says "mmmmm this is god pie." Drinks milk straight from the jug, and backwashes a chunk of pie into the container. That's garbage now.

Then he kick the dogs outside because they just told him 'they wanted out.' So I have to get up, let the poor, confused dogs back in and wrangle him back to bed. Then the sleep talking starts. And the flying elbows to the head. So when he gets up at 9am this morning (still drunk BTW) he wonders why I'm grouchy. The bastard.

PS No Sarah I never bought that bathing suit, however now I 'm mad that she did. Oh well, I'll get over it I guess.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Where the Fuck?

I just got home from work (11:30) and I totally have no idea where the hell my husband went. He has been drinking almost all day with his friend Jake (who gets him into trouble lots) and they were supposed to be here when I got home because we were all gonna soak in the hot tub. But. They. Aren't. Here. And I am pissed off about this. A phone call telling me where he was going to be would've been appreciated, thank you very much.

Also, drunk people, what makes you think that I want to lend you money out of my TIP JAR so you can buy beer? I don't. So stop asking. And, no even if you promise to pay me back. I've learned my lesson, because you never do.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Enter the Twilight Zone

So last night after work I had a psychic come over to my house and he did a reading for me. Fucker was so good it scared the shit out of me. I tried for him to tell me where the septic system is in the new house but he was only picking up shit about this house. He described my basement and the bathroom and dude never seen them. So then after I said I think you're talking about this house, I took him to see it. He was like yep this is what I saw.

He knew about a project I am working on (and I can count on one hand the number of people who know about it from me) and said it was going to be majorly successful as long as someone keeps it tightly under wraps from everyone because someone else they know will steal the idea.

He said that Adam has a very volatile temper and that sometimes it scares me. Yep. He said that I need to stop holding in my feelings and remember to express what I am feeling to those around me because they will understand and support my feelings and this will help me to feel less alone. Also I am supposed to stop living in the past and start living in the now and to be more spontaneous.

And apparently I am going to have two boys (one may not be adams, but he said either I have an affair or it's not mine either, but a friend or family members) and also, much to my relief finally a girl. Which made my night. Because I definitely want a girl.

Now that you all think I'm crazy for believing in this I will leave you at that. Oh, Adam would like for the internet to know that he 'doesn't believe in this shit'.

No Sarah, Adam wasn't here he had to go to work and rushed out the door as soon as the psychic got here. It was kinda funny because the psychic noticed how quickly Adam rushed to leave. And don't worry, it's not you that will spill the beans to the idea theif. He told me who would and that it would be someone they considered a 'friend' and he also explained what this theif would look like too!

Ashallee, it cost me 50 bucks. I don't think he's doing too many readings though because he's had some threats from people around here not appreciating "his kind".

I have to add things this way because my computer is having difficulties lately and refuses to open pop up screens at all and is totally freezing up so I have to keep closing whatever screen I was currently at. Which sucks especially because I started my online courses I am taking today.

Also, Adam, if you do read this secretly, Happy 25th Birthday you old fart. Hahaha you're a quarter century now.