So I am apparently coming off as maybe a little bit of a psycho. I have been told(thanks for the heads up). I am mostly not usually psychotic. Usually. Ok so maybe latley I am a little unhinged on here, but I think I am kinda allowed to vent here. Right? Oh well too bad if I'm not. Cause I will anyway. I am bitchy like that. I was also told to tell a funny story. You'd think that would be easy seeing as how my husband is a clown, but alas lately he is an ass.
Case in point: this morning at 5am when he got up for work I asked him to get me a GLASS OF WATER. And he bitched at me for being useless. He even said "whatever happened to the strong independent woman you used to be?" wtf? Where did that fucking come from? I am capable of getting my own water however, you're dressed and doing nothing why cant you do it? He did, but thats not the point(also where is the man who would do ANYTHING for me? No matter what it was or how stupid) But I digress.... Hmmm funny story.....
OH! I know. Lately my mom has been pushing ever so subtly for me to have a kid. In my x-mas stocking she gave me kids plates. For 'when kids come over'. In January while in Calgary we went through Old Navy and she stopped at the baby stuff, looked at me and sighed. "When are you gonna have kids so I can buy all this cute stuff?" I just walked away.
Then recently, she bought a piano off my aunt and was trying to bribe me with it. She said that if I was planning on having kids anytime soon she would give it to me. I told her exactly the same thing I've been telling her since Marie got engaged. That I will have kids once Marie's wedding is over. For she is getting married in Jamaica! At an adults only resort, that is super all-inclusive. So I neither want to be pergnant then or have to find someone to watch my baby. Because I would rather die than let my fucking bitch of a mother in law come anywhere near any of my kids. Just like she said I wouldn't let her. And then once we return from this fun adventure the race is on. Zak and I are in a competition to see who will have a kid first, me or Marie. However she thinks we are stupid and all Adam will say is 'no kids'. Who asked him anyway. Also good luck saying no. Thats my story. Not very funny, but that's all I got. Sorry. I'm going to the bar now so maybe something fun will happen, but probably not cause this is afterall Asscrap Village, BC. Population 24.
PS. a chihuahua? really? hee hee, my dogs will eat your dog and then puke him up on my carpet. No though, really send me a picture, they are cute little dogs. As long as you always dress them up.
Edited to add that last night when we came home from the bar(when Adam made me leave [fun anhilator]), I had something in my eye. And because we were slightly drunk we decided we could fix it. Adam flushed out my eye with an entire glass of water, refused to let me wipe it away, and made me blot it with a towel that was in the bathroom. It had been touched at some point by Caesar because the next thing I know my eye area is COVERED in a rash. So we decide that we've maybe done enough damage for one night we'll go to bed. I wake up this morning with a very swollen eye. Like it looks like he punched me in the face. So now I'm going to tell everyone that's what happened. Because I'm a bitch.