Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Merry Christmas!

Well this will be my final post for the year. I am leaving tomorrow for Saskatchewan and probably wont be back until the new year.

I finally had to remove my belly ring. It was starting to catch on everything and was infected because of that. Eeew, I know. I was very reluctant to have it taken out. It has been a part of me since I was 15 years old. Almost ten years. I plan on putting in a gold hoop once I get home, but until then I feel naked. Stripped. When I look at my stomach it really doesnt look like mine now. Another part of me I never really was expecting to change. Or for it to bother me so much. I expected to be one of those lucky girls who can wear their belly rings until the end. It was a lofty hope I guess. I hope it doesnt close up on me cause I know I will never get it pierced again. Too much of a sissy.

I have some strech marks forming on one side of my love hamdles. Just one side, thanks for the symmetry. My mom never got any strech marks at all. She had four kids, so I guess I was also hoping to take after her instead of her sisters for once in my life. An even loftier hope you could say. But a hope none the less. One that has been shattered already. I knew that this pregnancy would change my body. I just dont think I ever really stopped to think how I would take it. I guess I just assumed it would come easily as just a fact of life. I never thought about how I would take the just looking fat stage (which I am still in thank you). It affects you more than you'd think. It bothers me when you can see women passing judgment on you when they look at you and see only a fat woman. A slob. They think 'that would never be me; how could she let herself look like that; she should be going to the gym' and it makes me want to scream at them "dont judge me I'm pregnant." I dont want them to think mean things about me. But I know they are. I have been that woman. I know better now. It doesn't feel good. And it makes me ashamed for all those years I was the overly judgmental bitch. Forgive me.

Anyhow, this post has gotten quite sappy and oh poor me. So I will say this Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my (what like 5?) readers and I will see you all next year once I have been spoiled rotten by my family. What? Isn't that what christmas is about? No? Oh well. Too bad.

Friday, December 15, 2006

So So Very Sick

Hi all!

I am sick. Which will come as no surprise to anyone because seriously, I am always sick. If anyone even thinks that they are sick and come near me, I will get whatever they think they have. It's really a fascinating phenomenon. For everyone but me.

My husband, the bastard, never EVER gets sick. We were discussing this the other day. He figured that since I was pregnant with his child, said child would maybe be so kind as to help mommy get better quicker.

I laughed.

And then I had to explain to him that his child is a tiny little parasite, sucking any and all available vitamins and minerals and nutrients from me. Leaving only the smallest amount of said goodness left to keep me alive. And just barely.

I have no voice. Well, that's not entirely true. You know how people who have a scratchy throat say that they have a frog in their throat? I have a frog, only she is a chain-smoking, whiskey drinking whore who stays up all night partying in the most smoke filled bars she can find.

I've obviously put alot of thought into this.

I've been drinking so much water to keep my thraot hydrated that yesterday when I started coughing uncontrollably, I threw up water all over the living room floor. I just know you all wanted to hear that. Then I had to clean it up by myself because there is no mommy nearby for me to cry to and make clean my puke. Thankfully it was pure water, but still.

Anyway, I seem to be going through a hot flash right now and need to get off the computer to go stand outside so I will stop sweating. Seriously, I joke with my husband that this isn't a baby inside me, somehow he must've managed to implant a boiler in there.

Friday, December 08, 2006

There is a Reason

I promise. For why I haven't been posting as much lately (I figured I'd best elaborate on that first sentence, in case you can't read my mind)

However I cannot get into it just yet. I know that if I try to allude to things going on I will wind up spilling the beans on it, and then get myself in trouble with the Mister. No it has nothing to do with the baby, everythings fine that way.

So for now you guys will just have to settle with this inane post comprising of all the things I have been meaning to turn into real posts, but am much too lazy for all of that.

Here goes.

1. The bitch is gone. We sent her home on Monday. Damage incurred? Every carpet in our house needing to be scrubbed and steamed to within an inch of its life because we werent told she wasnt housebroken. (thank you very much) Seriously she pooped in the house 3 times one day. Once right after I brought her back in from the yard. Damn near killed her. And? She dug up our spare mattress. Covered with giant holes. That was an especially nice surprise. This was not worth it at all since we have no idea wether or not they ever actually figured out how to do it, and if there are puppies from this we are taking the profits from half the litter. So yes Heather, if we do have a litter from this we will make sure you get a black male.

2. I just about hit an elk with my moms truck. Because drunk Adam was pointing in front of me to look at the elk in the field off to the side. Thank you, I think I'll just look at the ones on the highway. I almost had to stop and compose myself because shit, elk are huge and I would've wiped out the front end of a truck I cannot afford.

3. We got our christmas tree. We went into the bush and chopped it down. (by we I mean he, because I sat in the truck and pointed at the trees I wanted him to knock the snow off of so i could see if they were fluffy enough, then laughed as snow landed on his head. And then watched as he dragged it back to the truck. Without offering to help)

4. When you are playing charades with 20 or so drunk women and you are the only sober one, you will kick ass. They will start to get mad at you, and cover your eyes when your teammates are up.

5. Charades isn't nearly as much fun when sober.

6. I am down to one pair of prepregnancy jeans. Although I think they are magic jeans because they are all I have been able to fit into for almost a month. And I have done all my expanding in the last month(in my ASS thank you very much). But it sucks having to wash them every two days and have to wear sweat clothes while they are being washed. If you've ever seen my closet you will understand how it pains me to only have one pair of pants. Dont even get me started on shirts and how they are all now belly shirts, and how much that makes me cringe when I have to leave the house.

7. Adams christmas party is tomorrow night. It's formal-ish. He doesnt understand that if I have nothing to wear we will NOT be going. He also doesn't understand that "just look for something in your closet, there has to be something in there" isn't really an option when you have a basketball inflating inside you.

8. I haven't even started to shop for christmas yet. We were planning on doing it all tomorrow.

9. My stomach sticks out way more when I am tired. When I'm not (tired) and standing up straight (which I rarely do), you almost can't tell that I am five months (and 4 days) pregnant. (so I guess technically I can say I am in my sixth month of pregnancy)(although you will notice that there are no pictures on here so nobody can bust my bubble and say HOLY COW you're big!)(also there are no pictures being taken of me, sooo therefore none to post)

10. I am literally losing my mind here with nothing to do, nowhere to go and seriously no friends. Adam is my only source of entertainment. And as entertaining as he is, he still starts to get on my nerves. That is not a good thing for any involved. Although I guess if I am so bored you'd think I'd post on my blog more often.

Wow, I guess this is the most I've posted on here in a very long time. Yay for me.