Riley(3yrs): "Where's Uncle?"
Me: "He's just in the bathroom right now. He won't be much longer."
Riley: "No. One time uncle was over at my house and I had to pee, and he was weally weally wong pooping, and so I had to go outside and pee on a twee."
Me: Laughing hysterically.
Scene: Bedroom. 5 am or so.
Hubby: "Are you going to do some laundry?"
Me: "Today? Yeah sure."
Hubby: "Right now. Go do a load of laundry."
Me: "Fuck you, I'm sleeping. I'll do a load once it's not 5am."
He claims to not remember saying this. I'm inclined to believe him due to his penchant for sleep talking nonsense.
Scene: Bedroom, looking for a pair of shorts to lend to Michelle. Hubby and Heath are making breakfast.
hubby: "Cindy, will you please come take my place in the kitchen. I can't share my kitchen with him."
Me: "No. Now go play nice with the other little boys and share the kitchen nicely."
He leaves the room dejectedly.
Michelle: "Did he REALLY just come up here to ask you that?"
Me: "Yeah, he knew I wouldn't though. He just likes for me to know what he's doing at all times and have my undivided attention."
Michelle: "He's worse than a kid."
Me: "Kyla, can I have the boat key back?"
Kyla(2): "No, I'm pwayin wif it."
Me: "Ok, but be real careful with it, because if we lose the boat key Uncle will get really mad at me."
Kyla to Adam: "Uncle, you be nice to Aunty Cinny, ok?"
Kyla: "Cause I like her, she's nice. So you be nice."
Scene: Saturday night. 2am bedroom
Me: "If you can't lay still I will hit you."
Him squirming annoyingly. So I knee him in the butt as hard as I can.
Me: "Seriously, if you don't stop moving I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."
he continues to move all over the bed.
Me: "fine, you fucker. I give up. I need to sleep."
8am he wakes up.
Him: " Are you sleeping on the couch? Why? Hey, you took all the pillows, why would you do that?"
Me: "It was that or kill you. And you're lucky I never took the blanket too."
Him: "My ass hurts. I must've fell down last night."
Me: giggles to myself. "Yeah, that must've been it."
Scene: on the beach, everyone around.
Me: "Hey, idiot!"
Michelle: "You call him names alot. So much so that since we've been here I've called Heath and idiot at least twice."
Adam: It's ok, Ive come to accept it."
Me: "Well in my defense, when I call him his name he either doesn't hear me or if he does, he then thinks I'm mad at him because I've used his name."
This is how beautiful Sunday was. That is my boat over on the right. There was not a single cloud in the sky the whole day.
Also, I was going to post some pictures of the house but blogger took twenty minutes to load this picture, so I don't have the patience for it today.