Friday, December 15, 2006

So So Very Sick

Hi all!

I am sick. Which will come as no surprise to anyone because seriously, I am always sick. If anyone even thinks that they are sick and come near me, I will get whatever they think they have. It's really a fascinating phenomenon. For everyone but me.

My husband, the bastard, never EVER gets sick. We were discussing this the other day. He figured that since I was pregnant with his child, said child would maybe be so kind as to help mommy get better quicker.

I laughed.

And then I had to explain to him that his child is a tiny little parasite, sucking any and all available vitamins and minerals and nutrients from me. Leaving only the smallest amount of said goodness left to keep me alive. And just barely.

I have no voice. Well, that's not entirely true. You know how people who have a scratchy throat say that they have a frog in their throat? I have a frog, only she is a chain-smoking, whiskey drinking whore who stays up all night partying in the most smoke filled bars she can find.

I've obviously put alot of thought into this.

I've been drinking so much water to keep my thraot hydrated that yesterday when I started coughing uncontrollably, I threw up water all over the living room floor. I just know you all wanted to hear that. Then I had to clean it up by myself because there is no mommy nearby for me to cry to and make clean my puke. Thankfully it was pure water, but still.

Anyway, I seem to be going through a hot flash right now and need to get off the computer to go stand outside so I will stop sweating. Seriously, I joke with my husband that this isn't a baby inside me, somehow he must've managed to implant a boiler in there.

3 comments:

  1. Your a loser Cindy.
    I have the sick thing too. I catch everything. I got a flu shot a couple of weeks ago and I told the ladies that if there is a one in a million chance that this thing will make me sick I'll be the one. And sure enought I got sick. But it wasn't from the shot because you can't get sick from the flu shot. Anyway I have a fucked up rotator cuff in my left arm. Now how the fuck did I do that. I don't do fuck all. Who knows but I have to get physio for it. Point is I use more sick days than anyone in the office. And I use more than I have. I keep saying I'll take vitamins but I know I won't. So I get sick.
    What I do know is that when men get sick it's the end of the fucking world. Nobody has ever been as sick as they have. Blah Blah Blah. Cripes. I'm glad my man don't get sick because the whole house shuts down when he's sick.

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  3. Found your blog off of Nine Pound Dictator....I have used more sick days since becoming pregnant than the entire time I've been with my company. Colds, the flu, falling down....I swear this fetus is out to get me!

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