There is a Reason

I promise. For why I haven't been posting as much lately (I figured I'd best elaborate on that first sentence, in case you can't read my mind)

However I cannot get into it just yet. I know that if I try to allude to things going on I will wind up spilling the beans on it, and then get myself in trouble with the Mister. No it has nothing to do with the baby, everythings fine that way.

So for now you guys will just have to settle with this inane post comprising of all the things I have been meaning to turn into real posts, but am much too lazy for all of that.

Here goes.

1. The bitch is gone. We sent her home on Monday. Damage incurred? Every carpet in our house needing to be scrubbed and steamed to within an inch of its life because we werent told she wasnt housebroken. (thank you very much) Seriously she pooped in the house 3 times one day. Once right after I brought her back in from the yard. Damn near killed her. And? She dug up our spare mattress. Covered with giant holes. That was an especially nice surprise. This was not worth it at all since we have no idea wether or not they ever actually figured out how to do it, and if there are puppies from this we are taking the profits from half the litter. So yes Heather, if we do have a litter from this we will make sure you get a black male.

2. I just about hit an elk with my moms truck. Because drunk Adam was pointing in front of me to look at the elk in the field off to the side. Thank you, I think I'll just look at the ones on the highway. I almost had to stop and compose myself because shit, elk are huge and I would've wiped out the front end of a truck I cannot afford.

3. We got our christmas tree. We went into the bush and chopped it down. (by we I mean he, because I sat in the truck and pointed at the trees I wanted him to knock the snow off of so i could see if they were fluffy enough, then laughed as snow landed on his head. And then watched as he dragged it back to the truck. Without offering to help)

4. When you are playing charades with 20 or so drunk women and you are the only sober one, you will kick ass. They will start to get mad at you, and cover your eyes when your teammates are up.

5. Charades isn't nearly as much fun when sober.

6. I am down to one pair of prepregnancy jeans. Although I think they are magic jeans because they are all I have been able to fit into for almost a month. And I have done all my expanding in the last month(in my ASS thank you very much). But it sucks having to wash them every two days and have to wear sweat clothes while they are being washed. If you've ever seen my closet you will understand how it pains me to only have one pair of pants. Dont even get me started on shirts and how they are all now belly shirts, and how much that makes me cringe when I have to leave the house.

7. Adams christmas party is tomorrow night. It's formal-ish. He doesnt understand that if I have nothing to wear we will NOT be going. He also doesn't understand that "just look for something in your closet, there has to be something in there" isn't really an option when you have a basketball inflating inside you.

8. I haven't even started to shop for christmas yet. We were planning on doing it all tomorrow.

9. My stomach sticks out way more when I am tired. When I'm not (tired) and standing up straight (which I rarely do), you almost can't tell that I am five months (and 4 days) pregnant. (so I guess technically I can say I am in my sixth month of pregnancy)(although you will notice that there are no pictures on here so nobody can bust my bubble and say HOLY COW you're big!)(also there are no pictures being taken of me, sooo therefore none to post)

10. I am literally losing my mind here with nothing to do, nowhere to go and seriously no friends. Adam is my only source of entertainment. And as entertaining as he is, he still starts to get on my nerves. That is not a good thing for any involved. Although I guess if I am so bored you'd think I'd post on my blog more often.

Wow, I guess this is the most I've posted on here in a very long time. Yay for me.