In which they sink to a new low.

I was so looking forward to going home to Saskatchewan today. Don't worry, I am still going (once the car is fixed) (what doesn't your car break down every time you want to go somewhere?) (mine do), I just am not as excited about it.

I received a phone call yesterday from my four year old neice because her mother didn't feel like talking to me to tell me that their trip down to Saskatchewan was ok. Do you know what she said to me?

"I hear your stupid. That's ok I like you anyway.'

That's right, that's exactly what she said. While I could hear her mother and grandmother laugh in the background. Real classy huh? Involving the four year old in making my life hell. Needless to day, I was very hurt and upset. Also very pissed off. Although Hubby was alot more angry than I was. Especially considering that when I asked her to put her mom on the line they hung up the phone. HUNG UP THE PHONE!

So, I think I will pass on going over to visit them. And I will have nothing to do with the telling of our announcement to them. Fuckers.

I am really excited for the fireworks that I bought though.

Oh also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN! Hahahaa you're 22 now! You're OLD. Love ya!

Maybe we should just stay home

On the weekend we went out boating with the people who used to rent our house. It was really fun. We brought along our propane bbq because we were told that there were fire bans. Although, while out on the middle of the lake Hubby realized that he had forgot to bring the propane tank. Ooops, looks like we will be starting a fire. Then on the way back across the lake at the end of the day, we ran out of gas. That's right, in the middle of the lake. So he and the other guy were rowing. Unsuccessfully I might add, because we were going in circles. I was getting annoyed as it was getting dark and I was hungry. So I pulled out the whistle from our boat safety kit and whistled like our boat was going down. Eventually someone came and got us, so we were pulled to safety. Which is a good thing because one of the oars broke in the harbour.

Then while driving home we watched a guy on a bike hit a baby black bear (one of 3 on the road) and wipe out. So we stopped and he was okay. So was the bear I might add, he ran away into the bushes.

So that was my weekend. Kinda funny, I think those two people who were with us think we are cursed with extremely bad luck.

Okay, So I May Be a Little Lazy Lately

Sorry, that post was up for waaaay longer than absolutely necessary. We had company come to visit from Saskatchewan. We had fun. Booze was consumed by everyone else. Someone had to be sober enough to drive.

So anyway, that's my excuse. And also on Wednesday I went to C-town to write some tests from my class. Remember those tests I wrote about mmmm a month ago? These were the first ones I have written since then. I THOUGHT I had done alright, but it turned out that I didn't do quite as well as I thought. So now I have to get almost a hundred percent on the last six tests. That I get to write on Tuesday. So my long weekend will be spent studying. Incessantly.

I am getting so excited to be going home in a little over a week. I haven't been home since mothers day 05. I miss it. A little part of me will always think of NB as home.

I bought $170 worth of fireworks for that weekend. Big ones. Fun ones. Fireworks that will blow your mind. As you can tell I am very very excited for that.

Also stay tuned for an upcoming announcement. This will be posted from Saskatchewan.

Warning! This may be too much information

"Cindy, will you give me head?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"My nose is plugged."

"I'll give you a straw..."

OH, FUCK OFF!

So, do you notice anything off in this picture? Oh, I don't know, like say maybe that there is no water coming out of the tap even though it is clearly on?

I discovered we had no water last night. While Hubby was at work, so there was nothing he could do to help fix it.

He THINKS he may have fixed it this morning but we don't know for how long it will stay fixed. FUN!

I'm starting to think that maybe I don't like this house so much now.

My Weekend Version 2.5

Now with pictures, minus the words. If you want to see what I'm talking about, refer to the last post.

ME. Eating. Also that is the cowboy hat I risked life and limb to save. Stupid thing shrunk too.

Beautiful, secluded and mosquito infested.

Blogger is a Bitch. So is this Hello! Bullshit. I wanted all three pictures in one post. But whatever. So I give Up. Oh, yeah that's me on the tube. Can't you just sense the excitement? I mean seriously, don't I look just stoked? Yeah I didn't think so either. After doing the splits and falling in the water, I just didn't really want to do it anymore. Can't imagine why.

My Weekend, Version 2.0

Here we go, I am trying this again.

We went camping on Friday and Saturday. I'm told it was fun and that we had a blast. It really wasn't that bad, I'm just not a fan of camping.

We were alone and deserted and I enjoyed that, because I am my fathers daughter and I hate too many people being around. Friday anyway.

There were millions and billions of mosquitos out so I took my book into the tent to escape them. Bug spray seemed to be crack to them.

But before I hid myself away, this is the picture Hubby decided to take of me. This is the first picture he's taken of me while fully dressed or not changing in a while (yes he's a dirty pervert) and of course I'm stuffing my face. There are two pictures actually and I'm eating both times. I think he did that on purpose.
***************************

Saturday people took over our beach (yes it's OURS) and that annoyed me very much because other people brought their dogs too. Little annoying yappy dogs, so we had to put our dogs on their leashes because they think all other dogs want to be their friends.

So we took our dogs out in the boat, and HE made me go tubing. Apparently I am not the most graceful person in the world because stupidly I tried to step into the tube, with one leg on the tube and the other in the boat and (you can see where this is going can't you?) wound up doing the splits inbetween the two items. Then I fell into the water. To his credit he never even laughed at me. Out loud anyway. So I had to climb back into the boat and try again. Then while on the tube I made him stop so I could put my goggles on because the poor baby was getting water in her eyes.
***********************
Hubby took his turn and I flipped him out of the tube repeatedly and he seemed to be enjoying himself. Until I flipped him so good that he went skipping across the water smacking his bag all along. When I came around to pick him up he was calmly floating inplace and refused to go back in the tube.

So we went back to shore for lunch. Now, while camping because I hate it so much I don't have to do anything. Because hubby is just so happy I'm even there. Anyway, he's buliding the fire and cooking lunch while I sit on my ass finishing my book. (The Devil Wears Prada) Burgers are done and he even prepares it for me, then brings it to me. I take a bite and Ketchup and mustard squirt out all over my towel. And I in my best bitchiest voice screech "How much fucking sauce did you put in this?" He turns to look at me mouth open and staring, because that was bitchy even for me. He throws my napkins, literally throws them at me. And then realizes just HOW bitchy that was of me and tries to take my burger back.

I shook my head and apologized because even I have no idea where that came from. I felt it coming and just couldn't stop myself. So we chalked it up to too much sun and packed our stuff up and headed home.

But that can't be all because I need to do one more stupid thing before we can call it a day. We're heading back with all our stuff across the lake to the truck and I am riding on the front of the boat (because I like it up there) while wearing my cowboy hat that I bought for in Jamaica when I turn my head to look backwards and (of course) it flies off. Now, normally he would just tell me to suck it up, but considering my mood snap earlier he turns around to go find it. We come up to it and it is about two feet under water. Knowing it won't be within reach for much longer I go jumping off the front of the still moving boat. In front of it. Thankfully he guessed I was gonna be that stupid and had already started turning the boat so as not to run over me with the prop. Mission accomplished, I came up witht he hat in my hands and a lungfull of water. Coughing all the way back to the boat.

And that was my weekend trip.

By the way, we are now both very very sunburned. Him more so than me because I had a base tan. Which is funny because he has a head start on me being native and all and I'm naturally pale as pale can be. Men are sissies when sunburned too.

****** I will have to add the pictures at another time because blogger is being a particularly mean spirited bitch today and tried to lose my post again.********

Pissed off

I had a whole post written up about my weekend at the lake and went to add a picture but then blogger froze up and closed down and lost the whole damn post. So I am now pissed off. I will maybe try to write the post again tomorrow. For now I give up.

Well it's about flipping time!

I finally got my satellite back. I have TeeeeeeeVeeeeeeee again!

Apparently when you phone Starchoice to have you service reconnected they must then approve your application through Satan. Cause seriously? We phoned on the fourth to have it done. I expected at least a week, but seriously, it's the 20th now. How busy does it get in one town? Does only one person in all of beer town do installations?

Thinking about it though, having no tv I sure got alot of work done around the house.

This Weekend in Conversations

We had our first visitors this weekend. And it was so much fun, despite the late nights and early mornings. They have two children, so it was an interesting change for me.

Riley(3yrs): "Where's Uncle?"
Me: "He's just in the bathroom right now. He won't be much longer."
Riley: "No. One time uncle was over at my house and I had to pee, and he was weally weally wong pooping, and so I had to go outside and pee on a twee."
Me: Laughing hysterically.

Scene: Bedroom. 5 am or so.
Hubby: "Are you going to do some laundry?"
Me: "Today? Yeah sure."
Hubby: "Right now. Go do a load of laundry."
Me: "Fuck you, I'm sleeping. I'll do a load once it's not 5am."
He claims to not remember saying this. I'm inclined to believe him due to his penchant for sleep talking nonsense.

Scene: Bedroom, looking for a pair of shorts to lend to Michelle. Hubby and Heath are making breakfast.

hubby: "Cindy, will you please come take my place in the kitchen. I can't share my kitchen with him."
Me: "No. Now go play nice with the other little boys and share the kitchen nicely."
He leaves the room dejectedly.
Michelle: "Did he REALLY just come up here to ask you that?"
Me: "Yeah, he knew I wouldn't though. He just likes for me to know what he's doing at all times and have my undivided attention."
Michelle: "He's worse than a kid."


Me: "Kyla, can I have the boat key back?"
Kyla(2): "No, I'm pwayin wif it."
Me: "Ok, but be real careful with it, because if we lose the boat key Uncle will get really mad at me."
Kyla to Adam: "Uncle, you be nice to Aunty Cinny, ok?"
Hubby: "Okay"
Kyla: "Cause I like her, she's nice. So you be nice."

Scene: Saturday night. 2am bedroom
Me: "If you can't lay still I will hit you."
Him squirming annoyingly. So I knee him in the butt as hard as I can.
Me: "Seriously, if you don't stop moving I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."
he continues to move all over the bed.
Me: "fine, you fucker. I give up. I need to sleep."
8am he wakes up.
Him: " Are you sleeping on the couch? Why? Hey, you took all the pillows, why would you do that?"
Me: "It was that or kill you. And you're lucky I never took the blanket too."
Him: "My ass hurts. I must've fell down last night."
Me: giggles to myself. "Yeah, that must've been it."


Scene: on the beach, everyone around.
Me: "Hey, idiot!"
Michelle: "You call him names alot. So much so that since we've been here I've called Heath and idiot at least twice."
Adam: It's ok, Ive come to accept it."
Me: "Well in my defense, when I call him his name he either doesn't hear me or if he does, he then thinks I'm mad at him because I've used his name."

This is how beautiful Sunday was. That is my boat over on the right. There was not a single cloud in the sky the whole day.

Also, I was going to post some pictures of the house but blogger took twenty minutes to load this picture, so I don't have the patience for it today.

He is growing a Soul

Last night, or rather yesterday the cat got out. Which somehow Hubby convinced me was okay because he figured that because the one other time he got out, he came back. So for some inexplicable reason, I went along with it. Until of course, it started to get dark.

So I started to worry.

He put in one of my movies to take my mind off it. So we watched Cheaper by the Dozen. Or tried to anyway. I kept walking outside to the deck and calling the cat.

After the movie he looks at me and says "I'm kinda worried too, the stupid little bastard has grown on me a little. Cause he hasn't been being a prick to me lately."

He and Thomas* are mortal enemies. They usually hate each other. Ever since we found him outside a bar one night, Tommy scratched up his speakers so hubby had him declawed and neutered. So they hate each other. Or rather he hates the cat. The cat ignores him now. He used to hiss and run away everytime he saw him.

Anyway, we went outside to search for Tommy. In the dark with the dogs because I am a big fat scaredy cat. We walked the full perimeter of our yard and then searched the sheds because you never know. Then just as we are about to head back, Jenny takes off running at full speed to the house. So I run after her because she may have seen a bear and was being smart.

What do I discover sitting there like he was there all along? Tommy.

The little bastard.


* Thomas is the name my mom gave to him when he came to live with her for a while, Thomas short for Thomas O'Malley, the Alley Cat. Get it? His original name given by me was Pumpkin because he was so small and his head was sooo big. Hubby named him Buster. The cat in question hates both the names we gave to him and will shoot you a dirty glare if you call him one.
Of course I came back. It's dirty out there ya know.

Weekend Project 06

So, Hi! I took Friday off, for no apparent reason. We actually never did go to the amusement park because "WE" decided that maybe "WE" should get some things done around the house.

Hardest part over MY ASS!!

Remember how I was so excited to stain all the wood in my house cherry to match my table? Somebody hit me next time I get ideas like that. I should know better, I went through the maniacal renovation phase leading up to my wedding at my parents house. I KNOW BETTER! Staining is bad. Very, very bad. And it gives you a wicked high that is a bitch to come down from. Proper ventilation is hard to accomplish when you can't let the cat out. Much to the cats chagrin.

Anyway this weekend I managed to finish the dining room walls. They are tongue and groove so it was really hard to do because I was working vertical. Thankfully I had a power sander, but seriously my back and shoulders are so sore I couldn't sleep last night. And when I did sleep i had weird stain induced dreams.

Anyway, I will post pictures of my Weekend Project 06 once I can find my cable to connect to the computer from my camera.

Also while "WE" were working on home renovations, one of us felt that playing with his new lawn mower was more important than sharing in the stain high. Bastard.

Confessions from the Middle of Nowhere

I am so covered in bruises I look like a junkie. Or that I have been beaten to within an inch of my life. Take your pick. Last count I had 15 bruises on my legs and at least 20 on my arms.

I really do LOVE my new house.

Except that we have to rip up the bathroom floor of our ensuite because as Hubby discovered he can put his finger through the floor beside the toilet. Plywood and all. Fun.

And we have to redo the ceiling in the main bathroom because there is moisture damage because the fan sucks ass.

BUT I am allowed to stain all the wood in the house cherry to match my precious precious table.

Which got wrecked in the move. There are scratches all over it because someones stupid stupid friends didn't care about maybe not wrecking all my stuff when we moved it into storage.

When I seen the damage I maybe cried a little. Or a lot. Whatever.

I hate, with the fury of a thousand suns, the bastard renters who were in this place before us. Apparently they decided that they, in fact, did not have to clean the house when they moved out. At least flush the damn toilets you PIGS!

Also, don't tell anyone, but dial up really isn't all that bad. Maybe its just that I am so happy to have computer access again.

I finally now have the tree house my dad promised me when I was four. Better late than never, I guess.

I am apparently not at Silverwood today because a certain lazy ass is still sleeping. So what that he worked all night, I want to go to an amusement park, dammit. Just Kidding. We'll go tomorrow.

Anyway I should maybe get off the computer now Who knows, maybe someone is trying to call me. By someone I mean my mom.

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Well I've learned something very interesting about Telus. When they say, "yes indeed we will give you phone connection on this day" what they really mean is "fuck you, we will tell you one thing and then actually do it 4 days after we said we would. And? Totally not give you internet. So you have to phone us 18 billion times to get everything actually working and make you want to cry while having to talk to one of those phone prompters that aren't really people, but sound creepily alot like one."

So, a big Fuck You! to Telus.

Ahem, Hi everyone. I'm back finally and may even possibly resume regular posting for you all. Now doesn't that sound absolutely like a treat? Well that's all you're getting. So suck it up.

I am possibly bitchy, and tired. I have too much stuff that I can't part with. And it is all a pain in the ass to move when certain relatives promise to come help you move and then show up a day and a half late, just in time to help you drink the 48 beer that are now all nice and chilled in the fridge.

So a big thanks for nothing to a certain relative who will remain nameless. (shakes fist in air)

I figure if a relationship can survive moving, it can survive anything. However if he says one more time "here's another box of your stupid crap" I swear I will throw out every single one of his tools and laugh while he cries. So there.

My dogs seem to be adjusting to their new house quite nicely. Well to be perfectly honest they are just happy to be inside a house and allowed couch privileges. However Caesar seems to think that the deck is a perfectly acceptable place to go to the bathroom. He's lucky I never stepped in it. Oh well I know something he doesn't (He's finally going to be neutered and I am thrilled.) Hahahahaha! Hopefully he will stop sniffing Jenny's butt incessantly, because her patience is wearing thin.

Anyway, tomorrow we will hopefully be going down to Silverwood theme park for the day, because being jobless, I have nothing better to do. But maybe not because Hubby is on his last night shift tonight so he may be tired. Hopefully not though, because I really want to go on some roller coasters.


Also? Spell check just asked if I wanted to replace Fuck with Fiji. Isn't that funny? No? Maybe I'm just computer deprived. Oh well, from now on I think I will replace saying Fuck with Fiji. Won't that be funny? Shut up, I think so.

Hello Again!

Well I am coming to you live from inside someones home. I have been unsuccessful at controlling my internet withdrawl symptoms. So I am sad to say I have broken into someones home and am using their internet. Unfortunately the house I have chosen has dial up, so this has been interesting for me.

Not much new here, except I am still homeless. Thankfully though not for much longer. Only it suck that we will be moving into our house on Canada Day.

Anyway, just thought I would let you guys know I am still alive and haven't forgot about you.

Gotta go someone just pulled into the driveway, hopefully there is a back door out of this place....













PS for those of you who don't know me, I never really broke into anyones house. But I had you going there for a minute didn't I?

So Long, Farewell...

Well this is my last post.






For two weeks anyway (scared you didn't I?). And when I finally come back to you all, it will be from the fiery depths of dial up hell. That's right, my new house is only capable of getting dial up. So I may just wind up breaking my computer in impatience. Maybe not though, because I won't have a job, so I will have nothing better to do than wait for a connection. This might make me have to finally learn patience. Or knitting. Which is on my list anyway.

Speaking of my list, guess what I bought on Saturday. A bow and arrow set. I got it at a garage sale. It is a longbow not a compound bow, so it is one inch shorter than me (I'm 5'7"). It came with a leather quiver (I just wanted to say quiver. It's a fun word), a bunch of arrows (like 50 of them), a leather arm protector (which by the way, you do need. Believe me I found out the hard way), and a finger protector glove. But that is too big for me so I will have to buy a smaller one. I was so excited when I saw it I didn't even dicker with the price I wanted it so bad. Hubby laughed at me. Which I expected, so whatever. My dad joked that I will be using hubby as target practice. Which made me laugh. (I say which alot don't I? Whatever)

And remeber how I bragged about having good luck? Remember also how I said I lost a diamond earring like two weeks ago? I found it on Saturday. (Saturday was a good day for me, better than Friday night anyway, damn bear) I was pretty excited because yay! Those were the only earrings I wore, so I have two again. Which means I will no longer look like a pirate with one earring. Only now I won't get newer, bigger ones. Yeah, like I was going to anyway.

So back to this whole no computer thing, I will also have no phone. Except for my cell phone. Which is funny cause it is still a Saskatchewan number. I think it's funny anyway. My dad doesn't so much when he gets the bill though... yes I'm spoiled. Shut up. If someone offered to pay for your phone you wouldn't say no either. I really only use it when travelling home anyway, so it's more for his peace of mind than anything. Anyway, back to the origional point in this paragraph (I keep getting off track today don't I?), I will be off the grid, unreachable. And I think I may just go into withdrawls. Weekends are hard enough when almost nobody updates. Can you imagine how I'll be after two weeks? All shaky and bitchy, wandering around looking for someone to lend their computer to me. "Come on man, I only need like 10 minutes, 20 tops. Please, I'll do whatever, just let me use your computer, man." Or however junkies actually sound.

So now that I've rambled on and on and on, I will say goodbye for now, see you again in two weeks. Please don't forget me. I will try to come back and update before July 1st when I return to civilization. Sorta. Dial up civilization. So keep coming back and checking, but I promise I will stop short of all out Junkie and will not break into houses to get my fix. I say that now, but we'll see how I am in a week...

Also, still leave me comments. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a comment whore. So please, don't stop with the comments. And if me being gone for two weeks sends you into withdrawls (I can pretend someone cares enough) read the archives. Maybe that'll help.

Wildlife

Now with Further Edit, especially for Joyce, because she asked for it.

One of the things that scares me the most about living in the wilds of backwoods BC, is the wildlife.

I live right beside a mountain.(Obviously no snow right now)

About 1/2 km away is an empty bear cave. This fact scares the everliving crap out of me. Never knowing if one day late at night, coming home from work there will be a bear in my driveway. Or even a cougar. I have heard them crying in the distance, and in case you didn't know, a cougar cry sounds much like a baby crying. This is a very disconcerting thing.

I was out for a walk one day by the river, and could hear a baby crying, and there were no houses anywhere near where I was. I ran my out of shape butt home, damn near in tears, hoping I wouldn't trip and fall making my demise a certain thing. Cause I know my dogs would not stop to save me. I haven't been out for a walk by myself since. Which explains the shape I'm in. (Excuses, excuses)

A friend of mine was telling me that tonight her dad shot a bear in front of their house because it had come by the night before and made a mess of their yard. There were two of them, so there is still one out there. I don't live very far from her, so I was (am) scared. Because I would have no idea what to do if I saw a bear. Probably spend the night in my truck. I hope he gets the other one tonight because I won't be able to go out in my yard at night again.

Although I guess that isn't so bad since we are moving right away. But then, thinking about it, our new house is much farther away from town, and much more backwoodsy than this one. I guess I'll have to start practicing my shooting soon. And get a lisence to have a gun. So then I'll have one thing done off my list soon, out of necessity. But done is done.

Edit: OH MY GOD! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE YARD RIGHT NOW! MY DOGS ARE GOING WILD AND I CAN HEAR CRASHING IN THE YARD! SOMEONE HOLD ME! I'M HERE ALONE AS ADAM IS AT WORK ALL NIGHT! I WILL NOT BE SLEEPING WELL TONIGHT.

Futher Edit: Okay now in the light of day, I can in fact laugh at my wussiness. Yes it was a bear. No it didn't wreck anything. It could smell the garbage we have in our porch and was probably trying to get at that. I phoned Hubby and told him about the situation and he told me to let the dogs outside. I told him I didn't want my dogs dead, thank you very much. Stupid man. Anyway, the bear was there for about a half an hour just lumbering around. I'm not quite sure why I was so scared, it's not like the bear can open doors. I hope anyway. I will not be leaving my house at night ever again.

Hmmph!

So I am in a pissy mood this evening, and the cause of it may be one of many things (moving, drunk husband, or learning someone else is going to Europe) or it could even be a mixture of all of those things.

Yes it may seem silly to all of you out there that I am pissy because someone else gets to go to Europe, but that has been my dream from ever since I can remember. And it seems everyone else gets to go but me. I am happy for her, but also jealous. It's petty I know, but here we are anyway... (and she reads this, so Hi! I'm jealous, but I still heart you forever)

So this reminded me of this list I made when I was about 16 years old. It's of all the things I want to do before I die. So since that makes an easy post for me, I will share it with you. Yes I still have it and know exactly where it is. Shut up.

1. Go to England, Ireland, Scotland, France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Turkey, Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Netherlands, Morocco, Jamaica, Mexico, Brazil, Russia, India, Australia. Preferably most of those in one trip. The ones in the same area anyway...
2.Learn Spanish
3.Learn French
4.Learn Sign Language
5.Get scuba certification
6.Parasail
7.Hang glide
8.White water raft
9.Learn to knit
10.Go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans
11.Write a book
12.Ride a steam train (I did that one actually, in Penticton two years ago. It was really hot.)
13.Learn to sail a boat.
14.Go on a cruise somewhere
15.Learn to shoot a bow and arrow (ok so I know how, but get good at it)
16.Get my gun safety lisence (I already know how to shoot, and I'm good)
17.Save someones life
18.Have someone buy my art (so I guess I'll have to start drawing again)
19.Learn to sew. (my little brother can sew better than me. And my sister)
20.Own a muscle car (I really want a new Challenger when they come out, but talking classic cars, probably a '68 Camaro RS SS. Rare, but I know someone who has it and I will convince him to sell it...)
21.Own a convertible. (I did own one, but I smashed a deer with it, so now I want a new Pontiac Solstice)
22.Learn to ride a horse (okay so I know how now, but I want to get good)
23.Own a friesian horse (very very expensive horse, but so so pretty.)
24.Make my own wine (not that I drink much but...)
25.Meet a movie star (preferrably Colin Farrell heehee ;))
26.Learn ballroom dancing
27.Learn to belly dance (it looks so fun)
28.Learn to Salsa dance (these are pretty funny considering I cannot even two step unless very very drunk)
29.Parachute from a plane (I think I would only be able to do this double, I'd be afraid of not pulling the chute on time)
30.Ride in an air balloon
31.Have a pen pal.
32.Read all the classic old novels (Moby dick, Pride and Prejudice, etc...)
33.Get married (Check)
34.Have kids (I think I would at least like to do all the travelling first)


So there you go, I had some interesting ideas on there (some removed due to impossibility like, be in a movie, be in a magazine, attend a major award show. I was quite the teen, I wanted to be famous), but most of them I'd still like to do. I think I'll need to do some major money saving to even think about checking off number one on the list. Or maybe win the lottery (I guess you have to play to win).

So I guess I'd better just go on dreaming, and living vicariously through other people. And hope they share pictures on their blog when they come back. Hint, Hint. Wink, Wink.

It's also a good thing I love my sister so much because if I didn't I would take the money I am saving for her wedding and disappear to London and board the next Contiki Trip for 46 days(ultimate european, yes I've researched trips) and cross almost all of those places of the list. But I guess at least I will be able to cross Jamaica off the list. Which isn't quite the same as going to 17 countries for almost the same price.

I was also going to bore you with all the things I want to do in those countries, but I figured, no one else cares and also, that would take so long. But just believe that I DO have a list, even though I could tell you off by heart all the places and things... so beware, one day I might share it with you.

Incompatabilities

It's a good thing there isn't some law out there that you says have to be able to work nicely with your spouse before you can get married. Because if there was I'd be single.

Hubby and I are trying to pack. We aren't getting very far because we keep fighting. He keeps trying to throw things out that don't need to be thrown out. Like my shoes. Or pots and pans. He thinks we have too many and couldn't I just part with some of them? GAAAAHHH!!! And he also would like for me to pack all my clothes up early and start living out of a suitcase right now, instead of come Sunday when my next days off are. This. Is. Not. Fun. I HATE moving. And since there is the great moving fiasco of 06 we basically get to do it twice. Double Fun!

Is it a bad thing that I comtemplated throwing a knife at him when he criticized my packing ability? Does it make it any less scary that I didn't seek the knives out, I was packing one when the impulse struck? Didn't think so. Oh well, I guess at least we don't work together often.

Also, do all guys expect women to be able to help them move a freezer as well as their friends do? He does. He also gets very upset when I drop heavy things on his fingers and nearly cut them off. So he says. Drama Queen. I keep telling him to not make me carry heavy stuff.

Am I Supposed to Care?

Why do all the drunk people seem to think I want to hear about all their problems? I'm just here to sell you your booze. Take it and leave. Maybe tip me too. Tipping is nice. But don't come in here and tell me your wife has just put a restraining order on you and you can't go into your home for a year. Because that? Makes me think you are a very bad person. And uncomfortable in a store alone with you late at night. Maybe I should be taking boxing lessons or something. Or just bring a bat to work.

I also, in a completely unrelated topic, wrote four exams today for my schooling. The class is over on the 7th and I hadn't wrote a single test. So I figured I'd do them all today. Smart right? The word you are looking for is procrastinator. Yes I know. Lowest score was 73%, highest was 84%, which will have to do. Last week I also wrote four exams for my medical terminology course (what's with me and four exams at once?)and didn't do too horribly either. Okay so I am lying and my lowest score on one was 68% but my highest was 89%, so I feel good-ish about that. Probably would've done better if I had written one every week instead of 4 a month, but live and learn I guess.

Did you know Rhinorrhea is a medical name for runny nose? I have been messing with the locals here and telling them that's what I have (I have a cold) and they all look at me like I'm dying. I get pretty good tips when people think I'm dying. And they're less likely to stay and bore me to death with their problems. Which is a good thing. (Medical dictionary's with pictures are fun, BTW)

I was going to post a picture, but stupid blogger won't let me. Stupid thing. My computer keeps telling me it can't find server whenever I try to send information, so I keep having to send it over again, not knowing if it worked the first time. So long story short, no picture this time. I know, you're all so disappointed. Try not to cry.

Priorities

You can definitely tell where your seperate priorities as a couple lay when you walk into a store like Sears. Like say for instance:

He thinks $1500 for a riding lawn mower is perfectly acceptable, while however for a stainless steel side by side fridge, $1500 is just way too much. How is it that something you will use honestly twice a month is more important than a fridge you will use everyday until it dies?

OR

$300 for a chainsaw, but that's too much for a stainless steel dishwasher? Obviously he doesn't do the dishes. And how often does one really use a chainsaw? I wash the dishes every 2 days, when it is full. (we use alot of cups)

OR

$3,000 for a dirt bike is just fine, but for a pillow top king size bed? Nah, cause it's not like we sleep on it every night or something.

OR

With the extra money we have he'd rather build a garage instead of new laminate flooring or saving it towards the $5000 we will need to go to jamaica for my sisters wedding. I think he doubts that I will sell every single one of his toys to pay for our trip if we don't have the money. Which currently we don't because someone feels we NEED a garage so the boat doesn't get wet. (Anyone have $5000 dollars laying around we can borrow? No? Anyone want a used dirtbike? Boat? Skidoo? just kidding. I'm not quite ready to sell it all yet.)

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus? Nah, men are from the land of toys and tools, women are from the land of practicality and common sense.* Maybe it's the same thing. What do I know, I've never read that book.

*this coming from the girl who has 6 boxes of shoes packed up in her living room. And about 20 black garbage bags of clothes. Yes, that's how I pack clothes up. Don't call me white trash. It's the easiest way. Shut up, it is too.

Lucky? I think not.

Generally speaking I have good luck. I can talk my way out of almost any ticket. And nothing too bad usually happens to me. However, Hubby has the worst luck. Everything bad happens to him. 4 Speeding tickets in one month, crashing my car into a mountain, his family... But speaking philosophically here, shouldn't my luck cancel his out? I mean my luck versus his, we should break even.

Unfortunatley that is not the case. We just found out yesterday, we don't get the fridge with the house. AND the washing machine doesn't work. So two new expenses that we will have to somehow manage to find a way to pay for. Because it's not like we can go without these things. Which sucks. Especially since I am going to be without a job soon.

I think I may just decide to pick fruit for the summer. Apparently they make pretty good money. And I'll get a pretty awesome tan too.

But back to my point, I think Hubby may just have a nervous breakdown. Because he cannot handle stress very well.

Also this is a picture of my pond at our new house. Not sure how I missed it the first time, but I did. Those rocks come up to my waist. Needs some work, but it should turn out very pretty.

Shut up. I can't figure out how to turn the picture. Just tilt your heads.

PS Movie Quote was from She's All That. You know, Freddie Prinze Jr., Rachel Leigh Cook. From 1999? Whatever. It's a cute movie. Shut up. It is too.

Serious? As A Heart Attack.*

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Does anyone still come here anymore?

(emptiness echoes)

Didn't think so. I've been busy,ummm packing. Yeah that's right. I've been packing. Not just being really lazy. Packing.

I had a very fun weekend. Okay so it was really just Friday night, but whatever.

We went out for dinner, bowling and a movie with a couple friends of ours. (Actually it's the people we will be staying with.) Sooo much fun. We had dinner at Joey's Only. Which was ok. I'm not a huge fan of seafood, but I was outnumbered.

The movie we went to was The Da Vinci Code. It was pretty good. I didn't really like that they changed some stuff from the book, but overall, I liked it. Kinda long though. Maybe just cause I had to pee really badly.

The best part of the evening however, was the glow in the dark bowling. Did you know that a white bra will show through a purple shirt in those places? I do now. For those of you who don't know my husband, he has this thing where he is really good at almost everything he does. It's really annoying. Bowling is not my sport (well sports aren't really my thing.) I was doing actually pretty good (for me) until about the fourth frame where upon I pulled a muscle in my ass. Don't ask me how, cause I don't know, but it happens everytime I bowl. So then my game went to shit. Hubby took this very personally and started to get VERY serious. Shouting things at me like "come on, put some effort into it" or "just line it up with the arrows" and "try a little bit would ya".

People often think I am making it up when I tell them how upset me doing bad at things makes him. Our friends seen for the first time how serious he gets with me sucking at games or sports.

And boy did we make fun of him after that. Everytime he got, say, a spare instead of a strike we would yell out "come on put some effort into it" or heaven forbid he not strike anything down then I got to pull out the "You know honey, it really disappoints me when you don't even TRY to do good." At one point I was nearly crying on the floor with laughter because he was SO serious. Poor guy.

PS My ass still hurts. I must be really out of shape.

* Bonus point to anyone who can pinpoint what movie the title of this post is from. (Bonus points do not really do anything. Correct guess winner will have the 'privilege' of me mentioning their name in my next post. Whenever that may be)

Edited to add: Comment people. I am a comment whore, and feel unappreciated when nobody comments. So, please, say something. Please?

Homeless...

We are going to be homeless for 15 days. How horrible is that? With two big dogs and a stupid bad cat.

We will be homeless due to the fact that the people who bought our house take possession on June 15th. We do not get possession of our new house until July 1st. Because they fucked us around. Bastards.

So we will be staying with our friends and their two kids. Which should be fun. I love their kids, who are 3 and 2. Also referred to as the cutest little kids ever. Don't tell my sister in law I said that. I don't know how well Hubby will deal... kids are scared of him usually. Actually we will be sleeping in their camper in their yard so as to not impose too much.

I hate having to ask this of them. I hate having to ask anything of almost anyone. Makes me feel bad. But there is nothing we can do about it because we won't be able to afford to stay in a motel. Or find one that takes so many animals. I guess this is what friends are supposed to do though, and they offered so....I wish I had family who lived nearer, then I would for sure without a doubt impose. But alas, they all live far away.

We get to put all of our stuff in storage for 15 days and will have to pay for storage for the whole month. I hope no mice live in those storage places because I would cry if anything happened to my furniture.

Anyway, feel for the poor homeless girl, whose new house only gets dial-up internet. I cry when I think of it.

Oh the Insanity

It's things like this that make me shake my head in confusion about the town where I live.

Earlier I was in "town" renting a movie and this girl I know who works next door to me says "You wanna come see my goat?"

I'm thinking 'I hope this isn't a euphemism.' but respond with "Sure"

So we leave the video store to go to her truck, she opens the door and standing on the seat is the cutest baby goat ever. I am immediately in love with this lovely little thing. I pick her up and walk back into the video store to show Hubby. Nobody even takes a second look to see the crazy girl who is holding a GOAT for christ sake. The thing is bleating like crazy and still nothing. Nobody even says to get that thing out of this store, it's not a barn you know. And really I was expecting it. I would've deserved it. It is a goat afterall.

Her name is Cricket.

Now I want a mini goat. HE says no. Spoilsport.

I wish I had a camera with me, because certain people don't truly believe that my town is that backwoods. Seriously, I am not making this shit up. But you can't make shit like this up. It's not possible.

Summer's Here

So this is what I do when I get bored or it's really close to summer. Sunday night my last night with Marie she looks to me and says "We should put some blonde highlights in your hair. It would look really good with the red." (which had really faded to a strawberry color.) I'm like sure why not. Hubby will love it. (he claims to be only attracted to blondes. Which is funny because I was his first blonde girlfriend)

WARNING! these are bad pictures. It was 11pm and I was wearing no makeup. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, before we 'played' with my hair(it was supposed to only be highlights only we put too many in so its pretty much all blonde.):

After:
Needless to say Hubby was pretty happy to have his blonde wife back. Now maybe he will let me dye his hair back to black. We don't both need to have blonde hair.

Which do you guys think looks better? Let me know. I like knowing other peoples opinions. Even if I don't know you.

Sheltered Life

Hi! I'm not dead. But I have been having such a blast in calgary, went wedding dress shopping with my sister today and it was so much fun, we even picked out her dress after two shops. And friday night marie and I went shopping for three hours. And then we went to a party and her fiancee whacked me in the nose in front of a room of people I had never met before. It was an accident of course, but there i am standing there trying not to cry and the more times Zak asks are you ok the harder it is not to cry.

BUT the funnest part about my trip so far has been going out to lunch with fellow blogger Rebecca Eckler. (heehee I'm name dropping, look how cool I am) We met downtown for lunch, so of course I had to take a cab because hubby gave me explicit instructions not to drive the truck anywhere after I got to marie's (which is big talk coming from the guy who smashed my car into a mountain). I had never been in a cab before in mylife. Yes I know, who hasn't but seriously, me. so I had to ask my big sister what the protocol was for seating. Do you really sit in the back? her response was "well I do, they usually smell, so you don't want to sit too close to them" (yes I used a stereotype, what of it?) Anyway, my cab driver was very nice and not at all a scary driver, it was quite pleasant until he started discussing president Bush and the war on Iraq. He was from Iraq, so i didn't know what to say. However I did agree that the only reason he is there is because of the oil (WOMD my ass, but anyway, I'm not political, so no I don't want to know what you think of my opinions on it), and then four firetrucks screamed by us to go to a fire (duh!) and it was interesting to see all the drivers in the cars going where the fuck do I go? And then my first ever cab ride ended and I headed off to lunch to meet Rebecca.

I was so nervous, I spent hours getting ready and changed my clothes like 14 times that morning. I even curled my hair and thats a big deal coming from such a pony tail girl. I'm a loser I know.

Lunch was awesome, i swear she must think that my in-laws are all certifiable (they are) and the town that I live in belongs in the backwoods of the deep south (ooh look! another stereotype. I'm on a roll tonight). i secretly call my town Salabamma. Shh! though don't tell them. I had so much fun I didn't want the lunch to end. I was having so much fun talking that I barely even touched my food. Once we finally ordered that is. Not that I could've ate anyway I was so nervous/excited.

After lunch i had to walk to my sisters work so we could go shopping. It was like 30 blocks away. I was wearing high heeled thongs and so by the time i finally found her work (I forgot what she said the address was) I had blisters that were so big they could've been another set of feet. But it was all worthwhile because I got told I was hot by some guy in a truck. I'm easily impressed.

and then the second of my oh my god I'm sheltered moments was taking the bus home with my sister. I had never been on a bus before. Nothing exciting or interesting happened except i got to pull the cord to make the bus stop at the next stop. I was pretty excited and Marie called me a loser. Which was fine, she does that alot.

So for the shopping because I know you are all dying to hear what I bought. 4 yes thats four new bathing suits bringing the count up to 28, a pair of sailor stlye pants that hubby will make fun of, a sweater shirt, a tshirt, a cowboy hat for in jamaica, and a tank top. By the time we were done my feet hurt so badly I could hardly walk(yes I had changed out of the flip flops). I complained so much Hubby gave me PERMISSION to buy new shoes. So after dress shopping today we did. White and blue Etnies, but i wasn't sure of the whiteness of the shoes because oh my god when they get dirty... but they were comfy and looked cute on so I bought them.


Anyway that's all I got for now, so I will probably post again on tuesday. Monday I will be driving all day then working at night, so i will be busy. but maybe i will post on Monday, keep all five of my readers on their toes. Maybe not though, so you'll just have to check and find out.

PS If the spelling in this post is bad it is not my fault, Marie's keyboard blows. Stupid Mac. Remind me never to get one.

For Mom

Yes, yes I know, I'm early. But I'm leaving for five wonderful funfilled days without my husband in Calgary(I'm Freee!). So I might not be able to have time to post (I know, you guys will all be heartbroken)... or I might be posting constantly because Marie will be at work all day so gaaaa! the boredom. Or not. Who knows.

Anyway.

For my mom, who spent her whole life being the mom. Even when she lived at home she was the cinderella, cleaning the house and making dinner and having a curfew of 10pm every night(which was earlier than your younger sisters).

Then she met my dad (on a blind date), they dated for only a few months before they got married and shortly thereafter(more than nine months later, so no she wasn't pregnant then) she had my sister. At 22 years old. Then two years after that, they bought a towing business. My mom answered the phone 24 hours a day.

AND she was pregnant with me at the time too. Then I arrived, and she managed a baby, a two year old and a 24 hour business(and dad).

Then a little under two years later she had my little brother Sean. Prematurely(10 weeks early), and he almost died and so did she. But they both pulled through and as soon as she was out of the hospital she was back to work. Answering phones 24 hours a day, with three kids under the age of 5. With my dad gone alot in the truck working to support us.

And then the inevitable happened and she got pregnant with my youngest brother Mitchell (also 2 years later). She did this all with little to no outside support from anyone. All her family lived in BC, and we were the forgotten ones that almost nobody ever came to visit. Which was okay by us. Mostly.Her escapes from this came once a month when it was time for grocery shopping. And by escape I mean she took 4 unruly kids with her, for a torturous afternoon of hell in public.(BTW for those of you who don't know this, a family of 6 goes through 4 shopping carts of food in a month)(Safeway used to give out Gold Medal shopper cakes to her for free because we spent so much) People still ask her how she managed it. ("I used to see you out with those kids and wonder how you made it through that sane")

They finally bought an answering service when I was around 10 years old. So for the first time in over 10 years, she was not tied to the phone for 24 hours a day. She was FREEEEE!!!

Well sort of anyway. She still worked 9 hours a day at the shop answering the phone for our business and about 10 more businesses too.

How she managed to do all that and juggle ballet, my gymnastics, Marie's figure skating (and all that that entailed), baseball for everyone but me(the ball scared me), and everything Sean and Mitch did to cause all the trouble they did, the books for Vista Towing and all the cooking and cleaning and also the wonderful baking you did all the time, I will NEVER be able to figure out. God knows we were not much help.

So for everything you did for us, everything you gave up so we could have everything you never had, Thank you. I know that isn't enough, and it will never suffice even if I were to say it to you every day for the rest of my life, Thank you mom. Everything we are and everything we accomplish, we owe to you. Without you, I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't even be half the person I am now if it weren't for you. It is so hard to be so far away, but you are always in my thoughts and I miss you more and more every day.

I hope that when I do have kids, I can be even half the mother you were to us. You are my hero. And I love you.

Love always, your Birdie.

(PS Dad may have helped somewhere along the way too, so he also gets credit, but this is for you)

David Blaine freaks me out

Did anyone else watch his "trick" on tv?

Dude was in a water bubble for a week and then tried to hold his breath for nine minutes. NINE MINUTES PEOPLE. I'm pretty sure that he never made the whole nine, but still. (I missed it because some drunk guy came in and wanted to talk philosophy with me. Annoying bastard) He tried, and he came pretty damn close. Closer than I would've thought he could.

Can you imagine how wrinkly and painful that must've been? I hurt after being in the tub for an hour, nevermind a week.

I'm however not quite sure how this constitutes as a magic trick though. He claims its magic because he brings people together who normally wouldn't have anything in common. That's bullshit babble, not magic. However his real tricks do freak the shit out of me.

Like he pulled a womans tooth out of her mouth and then BLEW it back in. Her mouth was bleeding and everything. It was pretty fucking cool. However if I ever meet him and he asks me to trust him and then reaches for my teeth, I will bite his fingers off. My teeth have enough problems as it is, I don't need some magician pulling them out. But if he takes me to a roullette table and gives me money to bet I sure will go with him. Those girls won 3,200 dollars. For nothing. Well I'm sure they got picked because they had big boobs but whatever...

He also tied his shoelace by waving his foot around in the air and it tied itself. Could you imagine the drunk people you could fuck with with that? But the freakiest shit of all is when he levitates. That is the one trick of his I wish I could do. Although he does seem to be in pain after he does it, so I could do without that. I'm kinda suspicious of that trick though because they will only show it from behind, so I don't know.

There was also no reason whatsoever for this to be on tv for the length it was. I mean come on, the trick was under nine minutes, a half an hour would've been sufficient don't you think?

PS Thanks to the two people who left comments regarding the brokeback mountain question I had, that was pretty much what I thought, but wasn't sure. So thank you for clearing that up for me.
(I also like how many hits I get for my posts that have brokeback mountain in them. And gay. BTW I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Jake Gyllenhaal isn't gay. I got some hits searching for that too.)(Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't think he is. Not enough fashion sense.)(Imagine how many hits I'll get for this one...)

Brokeback Questions

I watched Brokeback Mountain last night, and there was something I just couldn't figure out. Now if you haven't seen it stop reading now, because my question is a spoiler.








OKay so I am assuming that if you are still reading you have already seen it or are on of those weird people who like to know what happens. If so you're wierd. I hate knowing. Anyway, back to the point, what I don't understand is this: Did Jack Twist (jake gyllenhal) actually die by the rim of his tire exploding into his face, or was he beat to death with the tire iron by other guys? If you know, please tell me because I watched this movie running on like 2 hours of sleep, so some things just didn't make sense to me.

Also never watch a movie about gay people with an immature man. Hubby kept giggling and saying "they're gay." every time they so much as looked at each other. I was kinda grateful when he finally fell asleep, then I could hear what was being said. Instead of "they're gay. look, they want each other. Are they gonna have sex again?" And I'll be honest, his giggling was getting pretty annoying. "Heehee they're lovers"

***Hubby would like the internet to know that I forced him to let me rent it. "I'm not gay. Just so you know."***

Conversations with a Drunk

So he got home last night at about 1:30ish. Came to the wrong door. Could not get in the house. So once I let him in, I went back to the bedroom to try and sleep. But after about ten minutes of hearing nothing I started to get worried. I walk out to the door to find him sitting on the floor staring at his shoes.

After we get that sorted out, he comes to the room and I laugh at his attempts to undress himself but don't offer to help. 10mins later he's laying down beside me and he says "I'm not gay. Just so you know."

Other things he said while drunk last night are
-You like sister. (WTF, I think that's missing a few key words)
-This is just you and me being us.
-Are we running peas or corn tonight?
-I just love.....pets my head like a dog
-can't you just cuddle me back?
- Your period is wrong.

Three in the morning he decides he's hungry. So he gets up, goes to the kitchen and drops the pie from the fridge on the floor. Picks it up, eats it and says "mmmmm this is god pie." Drinks milk straight from the jug, and backwashes a chunk of pie into the container. That's garbage now.

Then he kick the dogs outside because they just told him 'they wanted out.' So I have to get up, let the poor, confused dogs back in and wrangle him back to bed. Then the sleep talking starts. And the flying elbows to the head. So when he gets up at 9am this morning (still drunk BTW) he wonders why I'm grouchy. The bastard.

PS No Sarah I never bought that bathing suit, however now I 'm mad that she did. Oh well, I'll get over it I guess.

Where the Fuck?

I just got home from work (11:30) and I totally have no idea where the hell my husband went. He has been drinking almost all day with his friend Jake (who gets him into trouble lots) and they were supposed to be here when I got home because we were all gonna soak in the hot tub. But. They. Aren't. Here. And I am pissed off about this. A phone call telling me where he was going to be would've been appreciated, thank you very much.

Also, drunk people, what makes you think that I want to lend you money out of my TIP JAR so you can buy beer? I don't. So stop asking. And, no even if you promise to pay me back. I've learned my lesson, because you never do.

Enter the Twilight Zone

So last night after work I had a psychic come over to my house and he did a reading for me. Fucker was so good it scared the shit out of me. I tried for him to tell me where the septic system is in the new house but he was only picking up shit about this house. He described my basement and the bathroom and dude never seen them. So then after I said I think you're talking about this house, I took him to see it. He was like yep this is what I saw.

He knew about a project I am working on (and I can count on one hand the number of people who know about it from me) and said it was going to be majorly successful as long as someone keeps it tightly under wraps from everyone because someone else they know will steal the idea.

He said that Adam has a very volatile temper and that sometimes it scares me. Yep. He said that I need to stop holding in my feelings and remember to express what I am feeling to those around me because they will understand and support my feelings and this will help me to feel less alone. Also I am supposed to stop living in the past and start living in the now and to be more spontaneous.

And apparently I am going to have two boys (one may not be adams, but he said either I have an affair or it's not mine either, but a friend or family members) and also, much to my relief finally a girl. Which made my night. Because I definitely want a girl.

Now that you all think I'm crazy for believing in this I will leave you at that. Oh, Adam would like for the internet to know that he 'doesn't believe in this shit'.

Edit
No Sarah, Adam wasn't here he had to go to work and rushed out the door as soon as the psychic got here. It was kinda funny because the psychic noticed how quickly Adam rushed to leave. And don't worry, it's not you that will spill the beans to the idea theif. He told me who would and that it would be someone they considered a 'friend' and he also explained what this theif would look like too!

Ashallee, it cost me 50 bucks. I don't think he's doing too many readings though because he's had some threats from people around here not appreciating "his kind".

I have to add things this way because my computer is having difficulties lately and refuses to open pop up screens at all and is totally freezing up so I have to keep closing whatever screen I was currently at. Which sucks especially because I started my online courses I am taking today.

Also, Adam, if you do read this secretly, Happy 25th Birthday you old fart. Hahaha you're a quarter century now.

Some girls have all the luck!

Did anyone else watch CSI last night? The origional one not the other two(I just can't get into those ones). If not here's a recap.

It was at a wedding and the evil mother of the groom gets murdered by the bridesmaids and the brother of the bride. The body is found because they tie it up behind the car that the new couple are leaving in.

Throughout the whole show all I could think was 'some girls get all the luck' and 'why couldn't my friends do that for me?'

*************************************

Okay, so I'm better about the house now and am actually kinda getting excited about it. Apparently there is a pond in the yard that I didn't notice. It has 4 bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1.5 stories, no basement, on 1.27 acres. In the upstairs is where the huge master bedroom is with an ensuite, there is also a loft like room up there which is where I will put the computer and all my books. You can look down over into the living room. It has wood heat, which I'm not crazy about but at least it will be warm. In the yard there is a treehouse and swingset built in and Adam can't wait to build himself a garage. I told him he has to make it two stories so we can build a bar and area for a pool table and foosball table. We got them down 20,000 in price so I feel pretty good about that. The reason for that is because nobody knows where the septic field is so it may be a problem. But hopefully not.

Marie, my sister, just bought a second condo to rent out and then eventually sell. Rich little bitch. Somehow I think I went the wrong way career wise... 198,000 for a one bedroom 600sq ft apartment. OUCH! That's even more than we spent on our new house. For us to live in.

My sisters fiancee, Zak, electrocuted himself last weekend and he has second degree burns on his hands. So I can't wait to get to Calgary in like two weeks to absolutely bug the shit out of him. He would do the same for me. We're a loving family like that.

Anyway that's all I got for now, I gotta go grocery shopping. Dammit.

Well...

Adam and I put in an offer on a house today and was basically accepted so now I will be moving to Creston in about a month.

Don't ask me about the house, cause I don't really want to talk about it yet. It's not everything I had wanted because we can't afford my tates. But it's close. I will tell you more about it, maybe, when I get over the crushing realization that we aren't rich enough to afford what we (okay I) wanted.

At least it's not the trailer (although Adam put an offer in on it and they weren't willing to come down at all so yay!). So I feel better about that. But I'm not totally ok yet.

Chivalry is Dead

This Saturday I took an inpromtu trip to penticton for my grandparents 55th wedding anniversary dinner. Before leaving, we discovered that the water pump had went in the truck. Which meant that I probably shouldn't be going. But I cried and cried until Adam felt sorry enough for me that he just told me to go. So I went.

But in taking the truck it meant that I had to stop every hour or so to let it cool down and add more antifreeze. So I stopped and sat there for a half an hour every time. One time I stopped at a gas station and sat with the hood popped. Nobody stopped to ask if I needed any help. Seriously, do I look like the kind of girl who knows how to fix a vehicle? I do know how, but really? Not the point. I was standing there in a sundress and wedge shoes and my hair all curled and looking cute and not one person asked if I needed any help. I could hear the men speculating to one another as to what might be wrong, but not one person came to my aid.

What the hell is wrong with men these days? Maybe I needed to throw in a few tears to warrant some help. Bastards.

I'll Miss You

My mom just phoned earlier this evening to tell me that they finally found out what is wrong with their dog Lassie (jenny's mom). She has advanced stage leukemia and they will have to put her down tomorrow morning. We discussed it at length and decided it's not fair to her live in such pain. She doen't understand the pain she's in and it makes her scared.

I'm sorry I won't be able to go home to say goodbye to her, but that's selfish of me to expect them to allow her to suffer so I can say goodbye to another one of my dogs. My dog Levi died earlier this year of kidney failure ( he was 12 years old and our first pet ever) and I never got to say goodbye to him either. This is one of the reasons it's so hard to live so far away, when things go wrong it's too hard for me to get home in time to be there for my mom.
Goodbye Lassie. I will miss you very much. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. (Lassie is on the right, her daughter Jenny is in the pink collar)

TAG I'm it!

Okay, so over Rebecca's blog she has done the whole meme thing where you list 6 wierd things about yourself, and tag others. So now I'm it. Here goes.

1. I have a Disney dvd collection. I tell people it's for when I have kids, so they can watch all the classics. It's not. They're for me. I watch them all the time. There are 39 of them.

2. I collect fairies. Some are painted and ready to display, some are the garden ones from Wal-Mart and I paint them myself. There are 46 of them.

3. I can't wash the dishes without gloves. If food touches me that's floating in the water I get grossed out and have to stop for a minute. I also can't put my hand inside a turkey. I make Adam pull the giblets out and put the stuffing in.

4. I have a liquor cabinet that is full of unopened booze. Nobody is allowed to touch it. It's for company. I also don't really drink, so I don't really have a real reason to have it.

5. I am a fully liscenced esthetician (make-up, waxing, nails, facials, artificial nails, pedicures, reflexology, aromatherapy, body treatments and lash and brow tinitng). I rarely wear make-up, my nails are ratty and I need a facial and pedicure more than anything. I can do it, I'm just a little lazy.

6. I can drink an entire 2 litre of Coke to myself in a night. And I do. I also take a 1 litre of diet coke with me to work every night. And drink it all. The girls at the gas station know what I come in the store for and they laugh at me. I switched to diet or coke zero so I save about 1 bazillion calories a day that way. I won't drink pepsi either. If a restaurant serves pepsi and not coke I will order an iced tea instead.

So there you have it. That was the best thing I could do. I couldn't really think of anything wierd so feel free to add to the list in comments if you can think of anything wierd about me.

Also? Tag! You're it! Let me know if you do it so I can check it out. Unless you've just recently done it. Then you are excused.

Opposites Attract

Adam and I are completely opposite in almost every single way. I don't really drink much, he drinks frequently. I'm a night person, he is a morning person. I read alot, he doesn't read anything. And this is particularly what this is about. I have been trying to convince him to read one of my books for so long, but he just won't. He doesn't understand it. I will sit on the couch and read a book while he watches tv and he thinks I must be bored reading.

About two weeks ago, one of his friends from work recommended the book DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. I have the illustrated version. I tried to tell him he would love it very much but he didn't believe me. Until someone else said it. Any way this morning Adam sits on the bed and looks at me and says "I like this whole reading thing."

I started laughing uncontrollably.

Wanna know why? His version of reading is having downloaded the audio version off the internet onto my mp3 player. He's not reading, he's listening.

Oh well, I guess he's still taking in the same information I did (without the pictures) only with the reader speaking in voices for each character (which may be more fun; or it could be weird).

My Weekend

Y'all wanna know what I did this Saturday night? I don't know if I want to tell you. You guys are gonna be soo jealous. It was just that cool...




If you think you can handle it keep reading and I'll show you...







You sure? All right then I don't want anyone to hate me cause I have such a cool life. But if you're sure I guess I can show you.

Yeah, that's right. A puzzle. Aren't you jealous? 500 pieces of glow in the dark fun. And it only took me nine hours. Don't you wish you were me now?

To add to the truly dorkiness of the whole situation I did this while watching many many disney movies. That's right. My night also included cartoons. I told you you'd be jealous.

If I Were a Beer...

You Are Heineken

You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it.You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk.Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times.Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.

What's" Your Beer Personality?

Couple things wrong here, I don't usually buy my friends rounds. I'm cheap. I do however discuss things nobody cares about(but I do that when sober anyway so people expect it of me). But I'm not a boring drunk, when I get good and drunk anyway. I do dumb things like in this picture...

The autographs on my chest are from three members of Treble Charger. It was also Adams idea. I went along, so I am not blameless.

I was going to post a different picture with me and two guys grabbing my boobs for the picture, but I couldn't find it. I think Adam threw it out. He didn't so much appreciate it. I wonder why? (we weren't even engaged when it happened)(Sarah, do you still have your copy of it?)

Also I have lost at least 15 pounds since this picture was taken three years ago.

My mom took this picture the next day because she thought it was so funny. If I look like I was still drunk, it's cause I think I was.

What kind of beer are you? Take the quiz, it's only 5 questions then tell me in the comments section. I'm nosy.

Who's Bad?

Me. That would be me. I just bought another bathing suit, so I am at 23 now. It's all Ashallee's fault. She took me to wal-mart and I bought a white one. Sooo pretty. I'm bad.

Nothing New

Since nothing new and exciting has happened to me in the last couple of days, I decided to tell the story of how my sister almost drowned. It's kinda funny if you don't think about the drowning part.

Picture a family of six plus my cousin Michael, all up northish at the lake in the beginning of june. In Saskatchewan, so not warm yet. We are all sitting around the fire (which is banned right now due to fire risk, but meh), my three siblings get bored. They decide to go for a rip in the boat. I decide to stay because they make fun of me alot and because it was very windy. And also very cold.

About two hours passes, and they haven't returned yet. My dad gets worried (because he's a worrier) so I go with him to the beach to see if we can spot the boat (which is silly because I am blind). Nothing. We decide to go to the other end of the lake which was the provincial park end, to see if we can spot them or if they are there.

Before I go any further in the telling of what happened for those of us on dry land, I will tell you what happened in the boat. As told to me by the three idiots.

Apparently they were having a blast until they ran out of gas. My sister, who is the oldest, decides she will just swim to shore and send help. Which might have worked if it weren't so windy. There were huge swells that kept going over her head. And to make matters worse, the life jacket was about three sizes too big(they had to fit my brothers who are much bigger than us girls). So instead of swimming to shore, she wound up being pushed further out.
Mitchell says to Sean "You're a good swimmer, you should jump out to go get her. Just take the lifejacket off, you'll get to her faster."
Sean replies with "yeah, ok." and starts to get ready to jump in.(my brothers are always convincing each other to do stupid things. always)

Now, Marie can see what they are planning and she knows that it is not a good idea. Which, DUH! The boys sit back down but she can still hear them convincing each other to jump in and just save her.

By this point Marie has decided to just float and not fight it because really she is so tired she can't anymore. And she is going into hypothermic shock because, as I said not warm.

Back on my side of things, my dad and I have gone up to the other end and can see the boat. What we can also see is that there are only two heads inside. We freak out, and get help from nearby people. They have a seadoo, but can't find the key to unlock it, so they break it because we are that frantic. Buddy goes out on seadoo and pulls back the boat. We get it out of them that Marie is still out there. We had held out all hope that she was just laying down inside the boat because it was cold. My dad (who can't swim at all) starts out to go save her. Like, just walking straight into the water. I don't know what he was gonna do when the water got over his head, keep walking maybe? I try to follow him, because I can at least swim. He won't let me, he's afraid I will wind up like Marie.

Seadoo guy gets wind of the fact that there is a girl out there (he had went back into his campsite) and comes back running at full speed. Hops on and rips back to go save her. He does, and she is ready to just give up.

We take her back to our place and put her in front of the fire to warm her up from the unnatural shade of blue that she is. The forestry park official comes to our property to see if she's ok, looks at our fire and is all "I see no fires here, just get her warm." And then leaves.

After this we got lifejackets that fit us properly.

Reading it back is not as funny as I remember the telling of it being. Oh well, it still is KINDA funny. You know cause everyone was ok, we can laugh about it.
In the future, when I have nothing interesting to write about I will tell stories of the dumb things my brothers do. Like this one time, with a six foot ramp and the kleenex...

So I Married a Two Year Old

My husband occassionally has hissy fits when he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Which is, apparrently, all the time. I 'm kinda spoiled and like to get my way. All the time (I can admit it). And now, when picking out a house, is not the time for me to start being reasonable. Adam has some horrible ideas about what constitutes a good house. This is what he went to look at yesterday after work (which is another story, cause seriously looking at houses without me? Not cool) the house, is:
- 850 sq feet (too small)
- on 2.44 acres (good, I like land)
- the driveway goes through someone else's yard (no.period)
- 2 bedrooms (not enough, having more than one kid. eventually)
- 2 baths (fine)
- basement laundry room(not a deal breaker, but not really convenient)
- to get to said basement, you have to go outside, down stairs and back inside (ABSOFUCKINLUTELY NOT! laundry will never get done)
- small dining room, like our table won't fit he says ( I refuse to part with my dining room table. He will be gone before the table goes.)
-fireplace (fine)
- electric heat (no. house will never be warm. ever. husband is cheap)
And quite a few other things, but in the interest of a shorter post I will skip the rest.

So I thought I was being quite reasonable to say that I would at least go look at it. He could tell I was not gonna actually go for it. So he started to call me a spoiled brat and that he couldn't afford to give me all the nice things I was accustomed to. I told him that fitting all our stuff in our new house was not being spoiled, but practical. I said something about never doing laundry if I had to go outside to get to the room. Especially never in the winter. Commence hissy fit. He crumpled the papers and threw them at me, stormed out of my work and deleted everything I had saved about houses on the computer.

He's really mature sometimes.

Yes, you could say that I'm being hard to deal with, you could also say that many people would be glad to own their own house, so I should be grateful to be in such a position. I am. But, seriously, I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a house that will contain all my stuff. Adam's new job was a step up, not down, so we are getting more money coming in. Therefore you'd think that it would make sense to get a nicer house, not a worse one. Right?

I'm A Big Girl Now...

It just hit me about five minutes ago. I'm a big girl now. I'm all grown up, never gonna be able to just move home and pretend I had never left.

Do you wanna know what made me come to that realization? (I'm gonna tell you anyway) It's not being married for a year and a half, having changed my last name, buying my second house or even that I live twelve hours away from my parents.

It came to me while on the phone with my mom(whom I speak to almost every day), we were discussing inconsequential things, when out of nowhere I asked her if she had tried the Lysol complete bathroom cleaner. I told her it was awesome(it really is) and that she should give it a try. It hit me then that I was all grown up and suggesting household cleaners.

When did this happen? I hate cleaning. I hate anything to do with cleaning. Why would I recommend cleaning products?

My mom thought this was absolutely hilarious. I had to let her go because I just felt so old I needed to lie down for a minute.

"Girl, what happened to you? Recommending cleaners, really? Wow, we need to have a talk I think."

I'm ok with it now, however someone needs to explain to my two year old self how this happened, cause I have no ideas.

Dreams...

I had this dream last night that I was back in high school, and this stressed me out. I always used to feel that anyone who talked to me had an ulterior motive. Like they wanted something, or they were just talking to me to see what stupid things I would say.

So anyway the dream was basically about these two girls who spent my whole dream trying to kick me out of this like treasure hunt thing so another girl could be in it instead. And this really hurt because in my dream I thought they were my friends. So I was going to beat them up. Which is funny, cause I'm not a fighter.

I woke up this morning full of all the old self doubt I felt all through high school. I've been questioning everyone's actions toward me all day, and even going so far as to doubt people's previous actions from weeks even months ago. I hate feeling like this. I just wish I was more self confident, without having to pretend that I was.

Enough of my whining...

I had another dream shortly after this that just proves I read too many magazines about celebrities. I dreamt that I was somewhere surrounded by all sorts of celebrities, like George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I dreamt that Brad was really drunk and he needed to get away from where we were because of all the paparazzi and he didn't want people to see him that drunk. So I took him to a hotel and took care of him all night. The next morning Angelina came there and was really pissed off because she thought I had slept with Brad. We explained what had happened and she was grateful for my help. She asked if there was anything she could do to repay my kindness. I told her she could introduce me to Colin Farrell, because I am in love with him. She looked at me and told me she was sorry, but Colin was secretly marrying Kate Moss, and that I should move on.

That was my other dream. I woke up pissed off at Kate Moss. I don't think I enjoy my dreams anymore. They are shattering my confidence and taking all hope away from me. I think I will just quit sleeping before midnight. Cause when I do I just have bad, mean dreams.

On another topic of dreams, I found my dream house. It is 4yrs old and in our price range. It has 1 acre of property within town and a creek in the yard. Unfortunately there is an accepted offer on it. We find out on the 13th if the deal falls through or works out. So I am hoping that it falls through, otherwise Adams fallen in love with a double wide trailer on a foundation. Seriously, I shit you not. For 4 thousand dollars cheaper than the new house. WTF. Anyway, lets all hope for the new house for me, because I really don't want to live in a trailer.

Also I got my clothes from Victoria's Secret, and I was soo happy and dreamy and loved them. Until Adam criticized every piece of clothing I got. Bastard. Ruined my shopping high.

(See how I did that? With the title being dreams and every paragraph being about dreams of some sort? Aren't I clever? No? Well, Whatever.)

(See, with the self doubt and shit?)

I'm a Big Fat Liar

So after all that grumbling bitching and whining about being soo tired I never went to bed that night until midnight. I was engrossed in looking at houses, lost track of time and next thing I know, BAM it's midnight.

Also all my talk of self restraint when it comes to bathing suits was a big fat stinking lie. I bought another one from Bootlegger. It was only 40 bucks, so it's not that bad. But still. It was pretty and brown and green and said "the sweetness of life" in script writing on the bum. I couldn't resist. So I'm officially at the count of 22 now. Maybe I really do have a problem. Oh well, it feels so good to spend (money I don't have).

Our house is officially sold now, they came and signed papers and gave us a deposit so we don't sell it out from under their noses. Which is cool, so we are spending the half day tomorrow looking for a new one. I say half day because the people I work with are assholes. I covered a shift for someone last week and she said she'd return the favor for me but refused to answer the phone today when I tried to ask her to cover. So now I have to be back in town by four tomorrow. What a Bitch. Whatever happened to people returning favours? I guess it's just too much to ask.

And something completely out of left field here, if Grey's Anatomy is another rerun next week I swear to god I'm gonna kill someone. They can't just do that to me; tease me with preview of the next show and then show a fucking rerun. Bastards.

Is 9:30 Too Early?

I am soo tired and I want to go to bed sooo badly, but I know if I do, I will be wide awake at like 4 am.

The reason I am so tired is because I had to work today (gasp) during the day. I am not a morning person. It also didn't help that when Adam got home this morning from work, it was an hour before I had to get up. So he woke me up. Then crawls into bed and tries to get some.
"honey, ya know what I'm thinking?"
"You even think it for one more second and I will rip it off!"
So, he rolled over and I tried to get that elusive last half an hour of sleep. I succeded until the alarm went off. Adam fumbles with the alarm clock and hits snooze. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, comes back to bed and SHUTS THE ALARM OFF! Okay, so apparently I am now getting up.

Not getting my extra nine minutes of snooze time really threw off my whole day. I was really bitchy and wanted to kill every drunken idiot who came in for booze. Seriously, does a liquor store really need to be open at nine am? Isn't that a bit much? I think so, but I don't really drink much. So what do I know.

I think maybe I will just drink a neo citron before I go to bed. That should put me out nicely.

Also I still haven't received my clothes that I ordered from Victoria's Secret. I am upset. What is the point in paying extra for fast delivery if you don't receive your clothes that week? No I never ordered any more bathing suits in case anyone is wondering, mostly because I ordered the clothes BEFORE I received the catalogue. I needed more(okay so I really mean just new) clothes (rolls eyes, yeah sure you do) before I needed another bathing suit. See? Self restraint. So there. I am not obsessive compulsive. Mostly.

Anyway, now it's 10pm so I will waste a half hour looking at houses online and then I am so going to bed. (this will be my first time to bed before 2am in over a month)

Victoria's Secret is Fucking with me

So I just received in the mail the new swimsuit edition of their magazine. I think I may have to go sell myself on the street to pay for all these pretty pretty swimsuits.

Swimsuits are my achilles heel. I see one, I want it. Usually I buy it. Currently I have 21 bathing suits. Nobody needs that many bathing suits, however I don't care. I still want more. Like, probably at least forty more from this catalogue. Especially the pink and yellow Dolce& Gabana one. That one will be my precious.... she wantsss the preciousssssss. Give me the preciousssss. (sorry Lord of the Rings commercials on right now) Anyway, I will be trying to sell my kidneys to the black market today if anyone needs me.

PS the people phoned last night and are buying our house for what we wanted! YAY! Can you see where my priorities are that I told you about the VS catalogue first? I don't think Adam will let me spend the thousands of that money on bathing suits. Something about buying another house or something silly like that.....

I kinda miss home*

So, lately I've been wishing that I could go home to visit my parents. I haven't seen them since January. But... it's a twelve hour drive. And I would have to go by myself because Adam has a new job and such. And I would also have to drive the truck (which is another story because Adam crashed my car into a mountain)(It's back home waiting for either my dad to fix it or for it to heal itself. Whichever miracle happens first.)(not that I can really complain, cause it's not like I'm paying to get it fixed) and it is so hard on gas and such a huge boat. I hate it.(That was alot of brackets.)

Anyway, what caused me to become so nostalgic was a picture I have of me sitting on my deck at night holding our .22(for shooting at coyotes). I remember this night quite clearly because the gun backfired on me and I thought I was deaf. I also felt gun pellet pieces hitting my face. I was showing my friend how good of a shot I was, and it literally blew up in my face. She laughed, and humiliated,I put the gun away.

Now I don't exactly live in some metropolitan area where I would get in shit for shooting a gun off my porch, however I don't think my neighbors would appreciate it. I just miss being able to do whatever the hell I want in my backyard and not have to explain to my neighbors why I did it.

Now, I could post this picture to prove my rednecky ways** but I won't. One reason is because I would have to scan it and download it and blah blah blah, but the real reason is because I've lost weight since the picture so I think I look fat in it. How am I losing weight you ask(as though I think anyone really cares)? Diet (by diet I mean I am taking diet pills for thyroid boosting and some illegal ones that contain ephedrine which make me really hyper). Also I drink stupid diet coke now which cuts out seriously thousands of calories for me in a day. But it tastes like crap.

Maybe tomorrow if I feel like it I will post the picture, because it is funny. Maybe.

*Yes I still think of Saskatchewan as home
**Yes I'm a redneck, I don't care.
I decided to post the picture even though it's not the best of me. Oh well, I look so happy with my gun. Obviously this is before the gun backfired...

The Waiting Game

So for those of you who have been following, the people who are interested in our house put in another offer on Sat. of 127,000. We told them that no, we will accept 130,000. Nothing less. They were supposed to phone back yesterday and tell us if they will do it. Needless to say, they never phoned. So now we wait and see if they will not buy the house over 3 grand. And I am losing my fucking mind over this, because I hate waiting. Especially if I don't know how things are gonna turn out. Is this gonna be a happy wait in the end or are they just gonna drag it out and fuck us over. By fuck us over, I mean not buy the house. Also, phone when you say you will, don't be assholes. And if you don't have an answer by then, phone to let us know how things are going, if you are still interested. Anyhow I am done venting. Thank you for your patience.
Jenny doesn't like waiting either, she gets stressed out. And when she's stressed, she obsessive compulsively cleans her white paws.

It's been a long two days

Adam and I have had the last two days off together. You would think I would be happy. Believe me I was. Yesterday. We haven't spent this much time together in months, because we work different shifts. Until next week then he goes on shift work again. (4 on, 4 off.) So I guess I'll have to get used to seeing him all the time again.

Don't get me wrong, I love Adam, but....I'm kinda glad I have to work tomorrow. One more full day together and I might wind up killing him!The nights though have been the hardest, because I had gotten used to sleeping in the bed all alone. Now I have to share and he's the biggest bed hog ever! He steals blankets, elbows me in the head (while he's sleeping) and has even tried to take my pillow out from under my head! Which doesn't exactly leave one with the best sleep. Of course then this leads me to the fact that he's a morning person. Me? not so much. I'm a BITCH in the morning.
this was our conversation this morning:
him- Honey, get uuuup!
me- What time is it?
him- 9:30.
me- If you tell me to get up one more time before noon at least, I swear to god you won't live to see the rest of the day.
him- Holy shit. You're serious too.
me- You bet your ass I am. Now FUCK OFF!
He quietly left the room, and gave me funny looks all day today.

Needless to say, I think he's glad I work tomorrow too.