Sheltered Life

Hi! I'm not dead. But I have been having such a blast in calgary, went wedding dress shopping with my sister today and it was so much fun, we even picked out her dress after two shops. And friday night marie and I went shopping for three hours. And then we went to a party and her fiancee whacked me in the nose in front of a room of people I had never met before. It was an accident of course, but there i am standing there trying not to cry and the more times Zak asks are you ok the harder it is not to cry.

BUT the funnest part about my trip so far has been going out to lunch with fellow blogger Rebecca Eckler. (heehee I'm name dropping, look how cool I am) We met downtown for lunch, so of course I had to take a cab because hubby gave me explicit instructions not to drive the truck anywhere after I got to marie's (which is big talk coming from the guy who smashed my car into a mountain). I had never been in a cab before in mylife. Yes I know, who hasn't but seriously, me. so I had to ask my big sister what the protocol was for seating. Do you really sit in the back? her response was "well I do, they usually smell, so you don't want to sit too close to them" (yes I used a stereotype, what of it?) Anyway, my cab driver was very nice and not at all a scary driver, it was quite pleasant until he started discussing president Bush and the war on Iraq. He was from Iraq, so i didn't know what to say. However I did agree that the only reason he is there is because of the oil (WOMD my ass, but anyway, I'm not political, so no I don't want to know what you think of my opinions on it), and then four firetrucks screamed by us to go to a fire (duh!) and it was interesting to see all the drivers in the cars going where the fuck do I go? And then my first ever cab ride ended and I headed off to lunch to meet Rebecca.

I was so nervous, I spent hours getting ready and changed my clothes like 14 times that morning. I even curled my hair and thats a big deal coming from such a pony tail girl. I'm a loser I know.

Lunch was awesome, i swear she must think that my in-laws are all certifiable (they are) and the town that I live in belongs in the backwoods of the deep south (ooh look! another stereotype. I'm on a roll tonight). i secretly call my town Salabamma. Shh! though don't tell them. I had so much fun I didn't want the lunch to end. I was having so much fun talking that I barely even touched my food. Once we finally ordered that is. Not that I could've ate anyway I was so nervous/excited.

After lunch i had to walk to my sisters work so we could go shopping. It was like 30 blocks away. I was wearing high heeled thongs and so by the time i finally found her work (I forgot what she said the address was) I had blisters that were so big they could've been another set of feet. But it was all worthwhile because I got told I was hot by some guy in a truck. I'm easily impressed.

and then the second of my oh my god I'm sheltered moments was taking the bus home with my sister. I had never been on a bus before. Nothing exciting or interesting happened except i got to pull the cord to make the bus stop at the next stop. I was pretty excited and Marie called me a loser. Which was fine, she does that alot.

So for the shopping because I know you are all dying to hear what I bought. 4 yes thats four new bathing suits bringing the count up to 28, a pair of sailor stlye pants that hubby will make fun of, a sweater shirt, a tshirt, a cowboy hat for in jamaica, and a tank top. By the time we were done my feet hurt so badly I could hardly walk(yes I had changed out of the flip flops). I complained so much Hubby gave me PERMISSION to buy new shoes. So after dress shopping today we did. White and blue Etnies, but i wasn't sure of the whiteness of the shoes because oh my god when they get dirty... but they were comfy and looked cute on so I bought them.


Anyway that's all I got for now, so I will probably post again on tuesday. Monday I will be driving all day then working at night, so i will be busy. but maybe i will post on Monday, keep all five of my readers on their toes. Maybe not though, so you'll just have to check and find out.

PS If the spelling in this post is bad it is not my fault, Marie's keyboard blows. Stupid Mac. Remind me never to get one.

For Mom

Yes, yes I know, I'm early. But I'm leaving for five wonderful funfilled days without my husband in Calgary(I'm Freee!). So I might not be able to have time to post (I know, you guys will all be heartbroken)... or I might be posting constantly because Marie will be at work all day so gaaaa! the boredom. Or not. Who knows.

Anyway.

For my mom, who spent her whole life being the mom. Even when she lived at home she was the cinderella, cleaning the house and making dinner and having a curfew of 10pm every night(which was earlier than your younger sisters).

Then she met my dad (on a blind date), they dated for only a few months before they got married and shortly thereafter(more than nine months later, so no she wasn't pregnant then) she had my sister. At 22 years old. Then two years after that, they bought a towing business. My mom answered the phone 24 hours a day.

AND she was pregnant with me at the time too. Then I arrived, and she managed a baby, a two year old and a 24 hour business(and dad).

Then a little under two years later she had my little brother Sean. Prematurely(10 weeks early), and he almost died and so did she. But they both pulled through and as soon as she was out of the hospital she was back to work. Answering phones 24 hours a day, with three kids under the age of 5. With my dad gone alot in the truck working to support us.

And then the inevitable happened and she got pregnant with my youngest brother Mitchell (also 2 years later). She did this all with little to no outside support from anyone. All her family lived in BC, and we were the forgotten ones that almost nobody ever came to visit. Which was okay by us. Mostly.Her escapes from this came once a month when it was time for grocery shopping. And by escape I mean she took 4 unruly kids with her, for a torturous afternoon of hell in public.(BTW for those of you who don't know this, a family of 6 goes through 4 shopping carts of food in a month)(Safeway used to give out Gold Medal shopper cakes to her for free because we spent so much) People still ask her how she managed it. ("I used to see you out with those kids and wonder how you made it through that sane")

They finally bought an answering service when I was around 10 years old. So for the first time in over 10 years, she was not tied to the phone for 24 hours a day. She was FREEEEE!!!

Well sort of anyway. She still worked 9 hours a day at the shop answering the phone for our business and about 10 more businesses too.

How she managed to do all that and juggle ballet, my gymnastics, Marie's figure skating (and all that that entailed), baseball for everyone but me(the ball scared me), and everything Sean and Mitch did to cause all the trouble they did, the books for Vista Towing and all the cooking and cleaning and also the wonderful baking you did all the time, I will NEVER be able to figure out. God knows we were not much help.

So for everything you did for us, everything you gave up so we could have everything you never had, Thank you. I know that isn't enough, and it will never suffice even if I were to say it to you every day for the rest of my life, Thank you mom. Everything we are and everything we accomplish, we owe to you. Without you, I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't even be half the person I am now if it weren't for you. It is so hard to be so far away, but you are always in my thoughts and I miss you more and more every day.

I hope that when I do have kids, I can be even half the mother you were to us. You are my hero. And I love you.

Love always, your Birdie.

(PS Dad may have helped somewhere along the way too, so he also gets credit, but this is for you)

David Blaine freaks me out

Did anyone else watch his "trick" on tv?

Dude was in a water bubble for a week and then tried to hold his breath for nine minutes. NINE MINUTES PEOPLE. I'm pretty sure that he never made the whole nine, but still. (I missed it because some drunk guy came in and wanted to talk philosophy with me. Annoying bastard) He tried, and he came pretty damn close. Closer than I would've thought he could.

Can you imagine how wrinkly and painful that must've been? I hurt after being in the tub for an hour, nevermind a week.

I'm however not quite sure how this constitutes as a magic trick though. He claims its magic because he brings people together who normally wouldn't have anything in common. That's bullshit babble, not magic. However his real tricks do freak the shit out of me.

Like he pulled a womans tooth out of her mouth and then BLEW it back in. Her mouth was bleeding and everything. It was pretty fucking cool. However if I ever meet him and he asks me to trust him and then reaches for my teeth, I will bite his fingers off. My teeth have enough problems as it is, I don't need some magician pulling them out. But if he takes me to a roullette table and gives me money to bet I sure will go with him. Those girls won 3,200 dollars. For nothing. Well I'm sure they got picked because they had big boobs but whatever...

He also tied his shoelace by waving his foot around in the air and it tied itself. Could you imagine the drunk people you could fuck with with that? But the freakiest shit of all is when he levitates. That is the one trick of his I wish I could do. Although he does seem to be in pain after he does it, so I could do without that. I'm kinda suspicious of that trick though because they will only show it from behind, so I don't know.

There was also no reason whatsoever for this to be on tv for the length it was. I mean come on, the trick was under nine minutes, a half an hour would've been sufficient don't you think?

PS Thanks to the two people who left comments regarding the brokeback mountain question I had, that was pretty much what I thought, but wasn't sure. So thank you for clearing that up for me.
(I also like how many hits I get for my posts that have brokeback mountain in them. And gay. BTW I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Jake Gyllenhaal isn't gay. I got some hits searching for that too.)(Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't think he is. Not enough fashion sense.)(Imagine how many hits I'll get for this one...)

Brokeback Questions

I watched Brokeback Mountain last night, and there was something I just couldn't figure out. Now if you haven't seen it stop reading now, because my question is a spoiler.








OKay so I am assuming that if you are still reading you have already seen it or are on of those weird people who like to know what happens. If so you're wierd. I hate knowing. Anyway, back to the point, what I don't understand is this: Did Jack Twist (jake gyllenhal) actually die by the rim of his tire exploding into his face, or was he beat to death with the tire iron by other guys? If you know, please tell me because I watched this movie running on like 2 hours of sleep, so some things just didn't make sense to me.

Also never watch a movie about gay people with an immature man. Hubby kept giggling and saying "they're gay." every time they so much as looked at each other. I was kinda grateful when he finally fell asleep, then I could hear what was being said. Instead of "they're gay. look, they want each other. Are they gonna have sex again?" And I'll be honest, his giggling was getting pretty annoying. "Heehee they're lovers"

***Hubby would like the internet to know that I forced him to let me rent it. "I'm not gay. Just so you know."***

Conversations with a Drunk

So he got home last night at about 1:30ish. Came to the wrong door. Could not get in the house. So once I let him in, I went back to the bedroom to try and sleep. But after about ten minutes of hearing nothing I started to get worried. I walk out to the door to find him sitting on the floor staring at his shoes.

After we get that sorted out, he comes to the room and I laugh at his attempts to undress himself but don't offer to help. 10mins later he's laying down beside me and he says "I'm not gay. Just so you know."

Other things he said while drunk last night are
-You like sister. (WTF, I think that's missing a few key words)
-This is just you and me being us.
-Are we running peas or corn tonight?
-I just love.....pets my head like a dog
-can't you just cuddle me back?
- Your period is wrong.

Three in the morning he decides he's hungry. So he gets up, goes to the kitchen and drops the pie from the fridge on the floor. Picks it up, eats it and says "mmmmm this is god pie." Drinks milk straight from the jug, and backwashes a chunk of pie into the container. That's garbage now.

Then he kick the dogs outside because they just told him 'they wanted out.' So I have to get up, let the poor, confused dogs back in and wrangle him back to bed. Then the sleep talking starts. And the flying elbows to the head. So when he gets up at 9am this morning (still drunk BTW) he wonders why I'm grouchy. The bastard.

PS No Sarah I never bought that bathing suit, however now I 'm mad that she did. Oh well, I'll get over it I guess.

Where the Fuck?

I just got home from work (11:30) and I totally have no idea where the hell my husband went. He has been drinking almost all day with his friend Jake (who gets him into trouble lots) and they were supposed to be here when I got home because we were all gonna soak in the hot tub. But. They. Aren't. Here. And I am pissed off about this. A phone call telling me where he was going to be would've been appreciated, thank you very much.

Also, drunk people, what makes you think that I want to lend you money out of my TIP JAR so you can buy beer? I don't. So stop asking. And, no even if you promise to pay me back. I've learned my lesson, because you never do.

Enter the Twilight Zone

So last night after work I had a psychic come over to my house and he did a reading for me. Fucker was so good it scared the shit out of me. I tried for him to tell me where the septic system is in the new house but he was only picking up shit about this house. He described my basement and the bathroom and dude never seen them. So then after I said I think you're talking about this house, I took him to see it. He was like yep this is what I saw.

He knew about a project I am working on (and I can count on one hand the number of people who know about it from me) and said it was going to be majorly successful as long as someone keeps it tightly under wraps from everyone because someone else they know will steal the idea.

He said that Adam has a very volatile temper and that sometimes it scares me. Yep. He said that I need to stop holding in my feelings and remember to express what I am feeling to those around me because they will understand and support my feelings and this will help me to feel less alone. Also I am supposed to stop living in the past and start living in the now and to be more spontaneous.

And apparently I am going to have two boys (one may not be adams, but he said either I have an affair or it's not mine either, but a friend or family members) and also, much to my relief finally a girl. Which made my night. Because I definitely want a girl.

Now that you all think I'm crazy for believing in this I will leave you at that. Oh, Adam would like for the internet to know that he 'doesn't believe in this shit'.

Edit
No Sarah, Adam wasn't here he had to go to work and rushed out the door as soon as the psychic got here. It was kinda funny because the psychic noticed how quickly Adam rushed to leave. And don't worry, it's not you that will spill the beans to the idea theif. He told me who would and that it would be someone they considered a 'friend' and he also explained what this theif would look like too!

Ashallee, it cost me 50 bucks. I don't think he's doing too many readings though because he's had some threats from people around here not appreciating "his kind".

I have to add things this way because my computer is having difficulties lately and refuses to open pop up screens at all and is totally freezing up so I have to keep closing whatever screen I was currently at. Which sucks especially because I started my online courses I am taking today.

Also, Adam, if you do read this secretly, Happy 25th Birthday you old fart. Hahaha you're a quarter century now.

Some girls have all the luck!

Did anyone else watch CSI last night? The origional one not the other two(I just can't get into those ones). If not here's a recap.

It was at a wedding and the evil mother of the groom gets murdered by the bridesmaids and the brother of the bride. The body is found because they tie it up behind the car that the new couple are leaving in.

Throughout the whole show all I could think was 'some girls get all the luck' and 'why couldn't my friends do that for me?'

*************************************

Okay, so I'm better about the house now and am actually kinda getting excited about it. Apparently there is a pond in the yard that I didn't notice. It has 4 bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1.5 stories, no basement, on 1.27 acres. In the upstairs is where the huge master bedroom is with an ensuite, there is also a loft like room up there which is where I will put the computer and all my books. You can look down over into the living room. It has wood heat, which I'm not crazy about but at least it will be warm. In the yard there is a treehouse and swingset built in and Adam can't wait to build himself a garage. I told him he has to make it two stories so we can build a bar and area for a pool table and foosball table. We got them down 20,000 in price so I feel pretty good about that. The reason for that is because nobody knows where the septic field is so it may be a problem. But hopefully not.

Marie, my sister, just bought a second condo to rent out and then eventually sell. Rich little bitch. Somehow I think I went the wrong way career wise... 198,000 for a one bedroom 600sq ft apartment. OUCH! That's even more than we spent on our new house. For us to live in.

My sisters fiancee, Zak, electrocuted himself last weekend and he has second degree burns on his hands. So I can't wait to get to Calgary in like two weeks to absolutely bug the shit out of him. He would do the same for me. We're a loving family like that.

Anyway that's all I got for now, I gotta go grocery shopping. Dammit.

Well...

Adam and I put in an offer on a house today and was basically accepted so now I will be moving to Creston in about a month.

Don't ask me about the house, cause I don't really want to talk about it yet. It's not everything I had wanted because we can't afford my tates. But it's close. I will tell you more about it, maybe, when I get over the crushing realization that we aren't rich enough to afford what we (okay I) wanted.

At least it's not the trailer (although Adam put an offer in on it and they weren't willing to come down at all so yay!). So I feel better about that. But I'm not totally ok yet.

Chivalry is Dead

This Saturday I took an inpromtu trip to penticton for my grandparents 55th wedding anniversary dinner. Before leaving, we discovered that the water pump had went in the truck. Which meant that I probably shouldn't be going. But I cried and cried until Adam felt sorry enough for me that he just told me to go. So I went.

But in taking the truck it meant that I had to stop every hour or so to let it cool down and add more antifreeze. So I stopped and sat there for a half an hour every time. One time I stopped at a gas station and sat with the hood popped. Nobody stopped to ask if I needed any help. Seriously, do I look like the kind of girl who knows how to fix a vehicle? I do know how, but really? Not the point. I was standing there in a sundress and wedge shoes and my hair all curled and looking cute and not one person asked if I needed any help. I could hear the men speculating to one another as to what might be wrong, but not one person came to my aid.

What the hell is wrong with men these days? Maybe I needed to throw in a few tears to warrant some help. Bastards.

I'll Miss You

My mom just phoned earlier this evening to tell me that they finally found out what is wrong with their dog Lassie (jenny's mom). She has advanced stage leukemia and they will have to put her down tomorrow morning. We discussed it at length and decided it's not fair to her live in such pain. She doen't understand the pain she's in and it makes her scared.

I'm sorry I won't be able to go home to say goodbye to her, but that's selfish of me to expect them to allow her to suffer so I can say goodbye to another one of my dogs. My dog Levi died earlier this year of kidney failure ( he was 12 years old and our first pet ever) and I never got to say goodbye to him either. This is one of the reasons it's so hard to live so far away, when things go wrong it's too hard for me to get home in time to be there for my mom.
Goodbye Lassie. I will miss you very much. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. (Lassie is on the right, her daughter Jenny is in the pink collar)

TAG I'm it!

Okay, so over Rebecca's blog she has done the whole meme thing where you list 6 wierd things about yourself, and tag others. So now I'm it. Here goes.

1. I have a Disney dvd collection. I tell people it's for when I have kids, so they can watch all the classics. It's not. They're for me. I watch them all the time. There are 39 of them.

2. I collect fairies. Some are painted and ready to display, some are the garden ones from Wal-Mart and I paint them myself. There are 46 of them.

3. I can't wash the dishes without gloves. If food touches me that's floating in the water I get grossed out and have to stop for a minute. I also can't put my hand inside a turkey. I make Adam pull the giblets out and put the stuffing in.

4. I have a liquor cabinet that is full of unopened booze. Nobody is allowed to touch it. It's for company. I also don't really drink, so I don't really have a real reason to have it.

5. I am a fully liscenced esthetician (make-up, waxing, nails, facials, artificial nails, pedicures, reflexology, aromatherapy, body treatments and lash and brow tinitng). I rarely wear make-up, my nails are ratty and I need a facial and pedicure more than anything. I can do it, I'm just a little lazy.

6. I can drink an entire 2 litre of Coke to myself in a night. And I do. I also take a 1 litre of diet coke with me to work every night. And drink it all. The girls at the gas station know what I come in the store for and they laugh at me. I switched to diet or coke zero so I save about 1 bazillion calories a day that way. I won't drink pepsi either. If a restaurant serves pepsi and not coke I will order an iced tea instead.

So there you have it. That was the best thing I could do. I couldn't really think of anything wierd so feel free to add to the list in comments if you can think of anything wierd about me.

Also? Tag! You're it! Let me know if you do it so I can check it out. Unless you've just recently done it. Then you are excused.

Opposites Attract

Adam and I are completely opposite in almost every single way. I don't really drink much, he drinks frequently. I'm a night person, he is a morning person. I read alot, he doesn't read anything. And this is particularly what this is about. I have been trying to convince him to read one of my books for so long, but he just won't. He doesn't understand it. I will sit on the couch and read a book while he watches tv and he thinks I must be bored reading.

About two weeks ago, one of his friends from work recommended the book DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. I have the illustrated version. I tried to tell him he would love it very much but he didn't believe me. Until someone else said it. Any way this morning Adam sits on the bed and looks at me and says "I like this whole reading thing."

I started laughing uncontrollably.

Wanna know why? His version of reading is having downloaded the audio version off the internet onto my mp3 player. He's not reading, he's listening.

Oh well, I guess he's still taking in the same information I did (without the pictures) only with the reader speaking in voices for each character (which may be more fun; or it could be weird).

My Weekend

Y'all wanna know what I did this Saturday night? I don't know if I want to tell you. You guys are gonna be soo jealous. It was just that cool...




If you think you can handle it keep reading and I'll show you...







You sure? All right then I don't want anyone to hate me cause I have such a cool life. But if you're sure I guess I can show you.

Yeah, that's right. A puzzle. Aren't you jealous? 500 pieces of glow in the dark fun. And it only took me nine hours. Don't you wish you were me now?

To add to the truly dorkiness of the whole situation I did this while watching many many disney movies. That's right. My night also included cartoons. I told you you'd be jealous.

If I Were a Beer...

You Are Heineken

You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it.You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk.Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times.Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.

What's" Your Beer Personality?

Couple things wrong here, I don't usually buy my friends rounds. I'm cheap. I do however discuss things nobody cares about(but I do that when sober anyway so people expect it of me). But I'm not a boring drunk, when I get good and drunk anyway. I do dumb things like in this picture...

The autographs on my chest are from three members of Treble Charger. It was also Adams idea. I went along, so I am not blameless.

I was going to post a different picture with me and two guys grabbing my boobs for the picture, but I couldn't find it. I think Adam threw it out. He didn't so much appreciate it. I wonder why? (we weren't even engaged when it happened)(Sarah, do you still have your copy of it?)

Also I have lost at least 15 pounds since this picture was taken three years ago.

My mom took this picture the next day because she thought it was so funny. If I look like I was still drunk, it's cause I think I was.

What kind of beer are you? Take the quiz, it's only 5 questions then tell me in the comments section. I'm nosy.

Who's Bad?

Me. That would be me. I just bought another bathing suit, so I am at 23 now. It's all Ashallee's fault. She took me to wal-mart and I bought a white one. Sooo pretty. I'm bad.

Nothing New

Since nothing new and exciting has happened to me in the last couple of days, I decided to tell the story of how my sister almost drowned. It's kinda funny if you don't think about the drowning part.

Picture a family of six plus my cousin Michael, all up northish at the lake in the beginning of june. In Saskatchewan, so not warm yet. We are all sitting around the fire (which is banned right now due to fire risk, but meh), my three siblings get bored. They decide to go for a rip in the boat. I decide to stay because they make fun of me alot and because it was very windy. And also very cold.

About two hours passes, and they haven't returned yet. My dad gets worried (because he's a worrier) so I go with him to the beach to see if we can spot the boat (which is silly because I am blind). Nothing. We decide to go to the other end of the lake which was the provincial park end, to see if we can spot them or if they are there.

Before I go any further in the telling of what happened for those of us on dry land, I will tell you what happened in the boat. As told to me by the three idiots.

Apparently they were having a blast until they ran out of gas. My sister, who is the oldest, decides she will just swim to shore and send help. Which might have worked if it weren't so windy. There were huge swells that kept going over her head. And to make matters worse, the life jacket was about three sizes too big(they had to fit my brothers who are much bigger than us girls). So instead of swimming to shore, she wound up being pushed further out.
Mitchell says to Sean "You're a good swimmer, you should jump out to go get her. Just take the lifejacket off, you'll get to her faster."
Sean replies with "yeah, ok." and starts to get ready to jump in.(my brothers are always convincing each other to do stupid things. always)

Now, Marie can see what they are planning and she knows that it is not a good idea. Which, DUH! The boys sit back down but she can still hear them convincing each other to jump in and just save her.

By this point Marie has decided to just float and not fight it because really she is so tired she can't anymore. And she is going into hypothermic shock because, as I said not warm.

Back on my side of things, my dad and I have gone up to the other end and can see the boat. What we can also see is that there are only two heads inside. We freak out, and get help from nearby people. They have a seadoo, but can't find the key to unlock it, so they break it because we are that frantic. Buddy goes out on seadoo and pulls back the boat. We get it out of them that Marie is still out there. We had held out all hope that she was just laying down inside the boat because it was cold. My dad (who can't swim at all) starts out to go save her. Like, just walking straight into the water. I don't know what he was gonna do when the water got over his head, keep walking maybe? I try to follow him, because I can at least swim. He won't let me, he's afraid I will wind up like Marie.

Seadoo guy gets wind of the fact that there is a girl out there (he had went back into his campsite) and comes back running at full speed. Hops on and rips back to go save her. He does, and she is ready to just give up.

We take her back to our place and put her in front of the fire to warm her up from the unnatural shade of blue that she is. The forestry park official comes to our property to see if she's ok, looks at our fire and is all "I see no fires here, just get her warm." And then leaves.

After this we got lifejackets that fit us properly.

Reading it back is not as funny as I remember the telling of it being. Oh well, it still is KINDA funny. You know cause everyone was ok, we can laugh about it.
In the future, when I have nothing interesting to write about I will tell stories of the dumb things my brothers do. Like this one time, with a six foot ramp and the kleenex...

So I Married a Two Year Old

My husband occassionally has hissy fits when he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Which is, apparrently, all the time. I 'm kinda spoiled and like to get my way. All the time (I can admit it). And now, when picking out a house, is not the time for me to start being reasonable. Adam has some horrible ideas about what constitutes a good house. This is what he went to look at yesterday after work (which is another story, cause seriously looking at houses without me? Not cool) the house, is:
- 850 sq feet (too small)
- on 2.44 acres (good, I like land)
- the driveway goes through someone else's yard (no.period)
- 2 bedrooms (not enough, having more than one kid. eventually)
- 2 baths (fine)
- basement laundry room(not a deal breaker, but not really convenient)
- to get to said basement, you have to go outside, down stairs and back inside (ABSOFUCKINLUTELY NOT! laundry will never get done)
- small dining room, like our table won't fit he says ( I refuse to part with my dining room table. He will be gone before the table goes.)
-fireplace (fine)
- electric heat (no. house will never be warm. ever. husband is cheap)
And quite a few other things, but in the interest of a shorter post I will skip the rest.

So I thought I was being quite reasonable to say that I would at least go look at it. He could tell I was not gonna actually go for it. So he started to call me a spoiled brat and that he couldn't afford to give me all the nice things I was accustomed to. I told him that fitting all our stuff in our new house was not being spoiled, but practical. I said something about never doing laundry if I had to go outside to get to the room. Especially never in the winter. Commence hissy fit. He crumpled the papers and threw them at me, stormed out of my work and deleted everything I had saved about houses on the computer.

He's really mature sometimes.

Yes, you could say that I'm being hard to deal with, you could also say that many people would be glad to own their own house, so I should be grateful to be in such a position. I am. But, seriously, I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a house that will contain all my stuff. Adam's new job was a step up, not down, so we are getting more money coming in. Therefore you'd think that it would make sense to get a nicer house, not a worse one. Right?

I'm A Big Girl Now...

It just hit me about five minutes ago. I'm a big girl now. I'm all grown up, never gonna be able to just move home and pretend I had never left.

Do you wanna know what made me come to that realization? (I'm gonna tell you anyway) It's not being married for a year and a half, having changed my last name, buying my second house or even that I live twelve hours away from my parents.

It came to me while on the phone with my mom(whom I speak to almost every day), we were discussing inconsequential things, when out of nowhere I asked her if she had tried the Lysol complete bathroom cleaner. I told her it was awesome(it really is) and that she should give it a try. It hit me then that I was all grown up and suggesting household cleaners.

When did this happen? I hate cleaning. I hate anything to do with cleaning. Why would I recommend cleaning products?

My mom thought this was absolutely hilarious. I had to let her go because I just felt so old I needed to lie down for a minute.

"Girl, what happened to you? Recommending cleaners, really? Wow, we need to have a talk I think."

I'm ok with it now, however someone needs to explain to my two year old self how this happened, cause I have no ideas.

Dreams...

I had this dream last night that I was back in high school, and this stressed me out. I always used to feel that anyone who talked to me had an ulterior motive. Like they wanted something, or they were just talking to me to see what stupid things I would say.

So anyway the dream was basically about these two girls who spent my whole dream trying to kick me out of this like treasure hunt thing so another girl could be in it instead. And this really hurt because in my dream I thought they were my friends. So I was going to beat them up. Which is funny, cause I'm not a fighter.

I woke up this morning full of all the old self doubt I felt all through high school. I've been questioning everyone's actions toward me all day, and even going so far as to doubt people's previous actions from weeks even months ago. I hate feeling like this. I just wish I was more self confident, without having to pretend that I was.

Enough of my whining...

I had another dream shortly after this that just proves I read too many magazines about celebrities. I dreamt that I was somewhere surrounded by all sorts of celebrities, like George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I dreamt that Brad was really drunk and he needed to get away from where we were because of all the paparazzi and he didn't want people to see him that drunk. So I took him to a hotel and took care of him all night. The next morning Angelina came there and was really pissed off because she thought I had slept with Brad. We explained what had happened and she was grateful for my help. She asked if there was anything she could do to repay my kindness. I told her she could introduce me to Colin Farrell, because I am in love with him. She looked at me and told me she was sorry, but Colin was secretly marrying Kate Moss, and that I should move on.

That was my other dream. I woke up pissed off at Kate Moss. I don't think I enjoy my dreams anymore. They are shattering my confidence and taking all hope away from me. I think I will just quit sleeping before midnight. Cause when I do I just have bad, mean dreams.

On another topic of dreams, I found my dream house. It is 4yrs old and in our price range. It has 1 acre of property within town and a creek in the yard. Unfortunately there is an accepted offer on it. We find out on the 13th if the deal falls through or works out. So I am hoping that it falls through, otherwise Adams fallen in love with a double wide trailer on a foundation. Seriously, I shit you not. For 4 thousand dollars cheaper than the new house. WTF. Anyway, lets all hope for the new house for me, because I really don't want to live in a trailer.

Also I got my clothes from Victoria's Secret, and I was soo happy and dreamy and loved them. Until Adam criticized every piece of clothing I got. Bastard. Ruined my shopping high.

(See how I did that? With the title being dreams and every paragraph being about dreams of some sort? Aren't I clever? No? Well, Whatever.)

(See, with the self doubt and shit?)

I'm a Big Fat Liar

So after all that grumbling bitching and whining about being soo tired I never went to bed that night until midnight. I was engrossed in looking at houses, lost track of time and next thing I know, BAM it's midnight.

Also all my talk of self restraint when it comes to bathing suits was a big fat stinking lie. I bought another one from Bootlegger. It was only 40 bucks, so it's not that bad. But still. It was pretty and brown and green and said "the sweetness of life" in script writing on the bum. I couldn't resist. So I'm officially at the count of 22 now. Maybe I really do have a problem. Oh well, it feels so good to spend (money I don't have).

Our house is officially sold now, they came and signed papers and gave us a deposit so we don't sell it out from under their noses. Which is cool, so we are spending the half day tomorrow looking for a new one. I say half day because the people I work with are assholes. I covered a shift for someone last week and she said she'd return the favor for me but refused to answer the phone today when I tried to ask her to cover. So now I have to be back in town by four tomorrow. What a Bitch. Whatever happened to people returning favours? I guess it's just too much to ask.

And something completely out of left field here, if Grey's Anatomy is another rerun next week I swear to god I'm gonna kill someone. They can't just do that to me; tease me with preview of the next show and then show a fucking rerun. Bastards.

Is 9:30 Too Early?

I am soo tired and I want to go to bed sooo badly, but I know if I do, I will be wide awake at like 4 am.

The reason I am so tired is because I had to work today (gasp) during the day. I am not a morning person. It also didn't help that when Adam got home this morning from work, it was an hour before I had to get up. So he woke me up. Then crawls into bed and tries to get some.
"honey, ya know what I'm thinking?"
"You even think it for one more second and I will rip it off!"
So, he rolled over and I tried to get that elusive last half an hour of sleep. I succeded until the alarm went off. Adam fumbles with the alarm clock and hits snooze. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, comes back to bed and SHUTS THE ALARM OFF! Okay, so apparently I am now getting up.

Not getting my extra nine minutes of snooze time really threw off my whole day. I was really bitchy and wanted to kill every drunken idiot who came in for booze. Seriously, does a liquor store really need to be open at nine am? Isn't that a bit much? I think so, but I don't really drink much. So what do I know.

I think maybe I will just drink a neo citron before I go to bed. That should put me out nicely.

Also I still haven't received my clothes that I ordered from Victoria's Secret. I am upset. What is the point in paying extra for fast delivery if you don't receive your clothes that week? No I never ordered any more bathing suits in case anyone is wondering, mostly because I ordered the clothes BEFORE I received the catalogue. I needed more(okay so I really mean just new) clothes (rolls eyes, yeah sure you do) before I needed another bathing suit. See? Self restraint. So there. I am not obsessive compulsive. Mostly.

Anyway, now it's 10pm so I will waste a half hour looking at houses online and then I am so going to bed. (this will be my first time to bed before 2am in over a month)

Victoria's Secret is Fucking with me

So I just received in the mail the new swimsuit edition of their magazine. I think I may have to go sell myself on the street to pay for all these pretty pretty swimsuits.

Swimsuits are my achilles heel. I see one, I want it. Usually I buy it. Currently I have 21 bathing suits. Nobody needs that many bathing suits, however I don't care. I still want more. Like, probably at least forty more from this catalogue. Especially the pink and yellow Dolce& Gabana one. That one will be my precious.... she wantsss the preciousssssss. Give me the preciousssss. (sorry Lord of the Rings commercials on right now) Anyway, I will be trying to sell my kidneys to the black market today if anyone needs me.

PS the people phoned last night and are buying our house for what we wanted! YAY! Can you see where my priorities are that I told you about the VS catalogue first? I don't think Adam will let me spend the thousands of that money on bathing suits. Something about buying another house or something silly like that.....

I kinda miss home*

So, lately I've been wishing that I could go home to visit my parents. I haven't seen them since January. But... it's a twelve hour drive. And I would have to go by myself because Adam has a new job and such. And I would also have to drive the truck (which is another story because Adam crashed my car into a mountain)(It's back home waiting for either my dad to fix it or for it to heal itself. Whichever miracle happens first.)(not that I can really complain, cause it's not like I'm paying to get it fixed) and it is so hard on gas and such a huge boat. I hate it.(That was alot of brackets.)

Anyway, what caused me to become so nostalgic was a picture I have of me sitting on my deck at night holding our .22(for shooting at coyotes). I remember this night quite clearly because the gun backfired on me and I thought I was deaf. I also felt gun pellet pieces hitting my face. I was showing my friend how good of a shot I was, and it literally blew up in my face. She laughed, and humiliated,I put the gun away.

Now I don't exactly live in some metropolitan area where I would get in shit for shooting a gun off my porch, however I don't think my neighbors would appreciate it. I just miss being able to do whatever the hell I want in my backyard and not have to explain to my neighbors why I did it.

Now, I could post this picture to prove my rednecky ways** but I won't. One reason is because I would have to scan it and download it and blah blah blah, but the real reason is because I've lost weight since the picture so I think I look fat in it. How am I losing weight you ask(as though I think anyone really cares)? Diet (by diet I mean I am taking diet pills for thyroid boosting and some illegal ones that contain ephedrine which make me really hyper). Also I drink stupid diet coke now which cuts out seriously thousands of calories for me in a day. But it tastes like crap.

Maybe tomorrow if I feel like it I will post the picture, because it is funny. Maybe.

*Yes I still think of Saskatchewan as home
**Yes I'm a redneck, I don't care.
I decided to post the picture even though it's not the best of me. Oh well, I look so happy with my gun. Obviously this is before the gun backfired...

The Waiting Game

So for those of you who have been following, the people who are interested in our house put in another offer on Sat. of 127,000. We told them that no, we will accept 130,000. Nothing less. They were supposed to phone back yesterday and tell us if they will do it. Needless to say, they never phoned. So now we wait and see if they will not buy the house over 3 grand. And I am losing my fucking mind over this, because I hate waiting. Especially if I don't know how things are gonna turn out. Is this gonna be a happy wait in the end or are they just gonna drag it out and fuck us over. By fuck us over, I mean not buy the house. Also, phone when you say you will, don't be assholes. And if you don't have an answer by then, phone to let us know how things are going, if you are still interested. Anyhow I am done venting. Thank you for your patience.
Jenny doesn't like waiting either, she gets stressed out. And when she's stressed, she obsessive compulsively cleans her white paws.

It's been a long two days

Adam and I have had the last two days off together. You would think I would be happy. Believe me I was. Yesterday. We haven't spent this much time together in months, because we work different shifts. Until next week then he goes on shift work again. (4 on, 4 off.) So I guess I'll have to get used to seeing him all the time again.

Don't get me wrong, I love Adam, but....I'm kinda glad I have to work tomorrow. One more full day together and I might wind up killing him!The nights though have been the hardest, because I had gotten used to sleeping in the bed all alone. Now I have to share and he's the biggest bed hog ever! He steals blankets, elbows me in the head (while he's sleeping) and has even tried to take my pillow out from under my head! Which doesn't exactly leave one with the best sleep. Of course then this leads me to the fact that he's a morning person. Me? not so much. I'm a BITCH in the morning.
this was our conversation this morning:
him- Honey, get uuuup!
me- What time is it?
him- 9:30.
me- If you tell me to get up one more time before noon at least, I swear to god you won't live to see the rest of the day.
him- Holy shit. You're serious too.
me- You bet your ass I am. Now FUCK OFF!
He quietly left the room, and gave me funny looks all day today.

Needless to say, I think he's glad I work tomorrow too.

I feel the need to share

Lately I have been getting compliments alot about my wardrobe. While, thank you it's muchly appreciated, I also find it a bit funny. While I do have a very large selection to chose from, it's deceiving. (It's all a build up of clothes from shortly after high school till now. None of my high school clothes fit me anymore. Stupid size zero, wasted on a seventeen year old (but that's another story). I can't seem to get rid of anything. As soon as I do give anything away, I will want to wear it the next day. Happens every time.)

Anyhow the reason I find this funny is because when I was growing up my mom used to refer to me as her bag lady. She still does to this day. When younger, I was not allowed to dress myself then go out in public. She dressed me until, I kid you not,grade seven. So in the interest of having a fun post here are some of the things I dressed myself in. Well I think at this age, pants are optional anyway. Notice the bottle in the background? Mine. Notice that I'm drinking McDonalds instead. The obsession started earlier than first thought.Also, that is not makeup, but finger paint. I don't know who did it me, or Marie

Pink spandex pants? Check. Bright green slouch socks? check. Your mom using this picture as blackmail? priceless.

Unfortunately, you can't see the pink and white striped skirt with florescent unmatching pink spandex pants. This was on the way to the New Kids on the Block concert. Apparently THIS was acceptable. At least my hair was brushed.Yes, this was a skating outfit. However that doesn't excuse the fact that I wore the yellow bodysuit all the time. I also really enjoyed the green tights. I wore those with everything too.

Now, this is one of my favorites. Green tie-dyed shirt? you bet. Bad? sure. What makes it worse though, is the tucked in sweat pants, unbrushed hair and the fact that my poor cat very obviously would love to kill me. But he has no claws and is dressed in baby clothes.

So, now maybe you will understand a little better, if ever you compliment something I'm wearing, why I look very happy and also somewhat amused. I've come a long way, baby.

Apparently...

If I were a dog I would be


You're a Chihuahua!

What Breed of Dog Are You?
Brought to you by Tickle

I don't know really how to take this. I kinda take exception to little dogs. Especially yappy ones. OH well, I guess you get what you get. I coulda just retaken the test but that would've been cheating.

What kind of dog are you?

Well maybe I should leave shit alone

I will freely admit that I know nothing about HTML codes and shit. Yet I insist upon trying to change things. Why, why must I feel compelled to fuck with shit? Last night I spent the better part of an hour trying to put a wallpaper background on this blog because someone complained that the colors hurt their eyes. I had better things I could've/should've been doing. But everyone else has such cool pretty blogs I want mine to fit in. Anyway I also tried to add a stats counter but I couldn't do it. The cut and paste instructions? Didn't help. Nothing worked. So I guess I will have to beg and bribe Ashallee to help me oh smart HTML codes one. Pretty Please? With sugar on top? I'll bake you something.... PLEASE!
This is the pretty I tried to set it as... wouldn't that be all pretty and summery and shit? Yeah, I thought so too.

Okay, so I'm still jealous, but...

The fact that they all burned so horribly makes me feel better about not having gone to Cuba. (L to R Dad, sister Marie, Mom) I mean, really look how burned Marie's chest is. That had to hurt. My mom actually doesn't tan, so she considers sunburn tanned. Whatever. It's still burned.

I Don't Wanna

Earlier this evening I was sitting at the computer enjoying a woderful Aero ice cream cone, when out of nowhere a pain on the left side of my mouth erupts across my face. Now, I'm not an idiot so I realize it's a cavity. While for most people this would mean a simple trip to the dentist. I, however, am not most people. The idea of the dentist fills me with such a fear that it cripples me.

It also doesn't help that my dentist is a sadistic bitch. The last time I was there, I had some cavities filled. My first ones on permanent teeth ever. She starts to drill and I can still feel it. She doesn't care and continues to drill.

Now, recapping what we learned from the post in which I was at the hospital, we will all remember that I go into shock very easily. Which thankfully didn't happen that time.

However shortly after this (and this is why she thinks I'm crazy) I came in with Adam to get his wisdom teeth out. Being the good wife that I am, I sit in the waiting room (for 4 hours) and wait so I can drive him home. Despite the fact that the smell of dentist offices makes me sick. Literally. So I am waiting and waiting and while I am my period starts (sorry too much info, I know) along with some of the worst cramps I have ever experienced in my life. No biggie, I can handle it. After Adam is finally finished, he comes out and looks like he has been hit by a fucking semi. I get up and am standing with him to pay, when suddenly the pain that I feel and the sympathy for him mixed with that smell becomes too much. I look over at him and whisper "I think I'm gonna pass out."

I remember putting my pop down (cause it's important not to spill) and then the next thing I know, I'm laid flat out on the floor in the FULL waiting room. Adam is above me shaking me looking very worried and the dentist is kneeling beside him also trying to wake me up. Thankfully he caught me and didn't let me bang my head on the floor. I try to get up but nobody will let. After I convince them it's ok for me to get up, they make me lay down on a dentist chair for 10 mins. force feeding me water. I leave some very worried looking kids in the waiting room. Adam drives us home after 4 hours of major dental work.

Now every time I go in there they all laugh behind their hands at me.

So back to my point for telling the story, I think I'll just let this tooth rot out of my head. It will probably be less traumatic than going back to the dentist.

Fun sidenote: Did you know that when you pass out you fall straight down, not backwards? Contrary to what Wilma off the Flintstones would have you believe.

My animals are too smart

I just came in from a nice relaxing soak in the hot tub only to find that the three of my animals have conspired together to free my package of steak from the sink. There was one piece lying in the middle of the kitchen floor and the other two were, after a quick search, confirmed MIA. Now what I assume happened was that the cat opened the package and pulled them out, shared nicely with the dogs and kept one for himself. And also left one for me and Adam in the package. Apparently my house just became self serve.

Also what I really hope is that it wasn't just the cat because he could never eat two whole pieces of steak. I guess I'll find out for sure in a couple of days if my house starts stinking like rotted meat. That will definitely make it hard to sell.

You know you live in a small town when

It's days like this I wish I brought my camera to work with me.

This morning at work, a girl came to the door and asked if I had seen the car outside on the sidewalk. HUH? So I went outside to see it, and it looked as though the car tried to make the sidewalk a parking lot. Now I don't know why she drove up onto the sidewalk(maybe she was drunk) but what was funny was that in the hour that this took place the ambulance showed up 20 mins after the cop (Hopefully she wasn't hurt), the tow truck was 5 minutes after that (lights blaring*) and every single person in town drove or walked by to see the accident. I mean it was almost jammed up enough out there to warrant trafic control. Which is funny in a town of 24 people. (ok so there is like 1500 but whatever) And every old man made the same joke "looks like she tried to make it a drive thru", after a while it wasn't funny anymore.

What was funny was that when the tow truck hooked up to the vehicle, it was still touching the other car that it had hit. Now for those of you that don't know, my parents own a towing company, so I know about towing. As I'm standing there I suggest that maybe they should move the other vehicle so as not to damage it further. The truck driver looks at me with the look on his face as if to say "what do you know". The owner of the vehicle sees the wisdom of this idea and moves his car forward, thereby eliminating the possibility of further damage.

* The fact that the tow truck had his lights on for no reason annoyed the hell out of me. Because if you use those lights all the time for no purpose then people will stop paying attention to them when you have them on on the side of the road. And that is no good because more tow truck drivers are killed every year roadside than policemen, construction workers and ambulance drivers. And for some reason it is also not law to force drivers to slow down when they pass them working on the side of the road. Okay I am done my rant now.

So Anyway

So this guy was in my work bothering me and asking why my sister was getting married in Jamaica. So I decided to freak him out and actually tell him why. It's because the planning and execution of my wedding went so horribly wrong that she wanted to escape from the pressure.(and seriously it's jamaica does she need a reason?) Would you like to know everything that went wrong? I will tell you point form because alot of shit went wrong. Also there will be a second list of all the things that my lovely mother in law decided to do/cause to go wrong. There are even more of those.

- The landscapers delayed coming to do the yard until like 2 weeks before the wedding. We laid turf the DAY OF the wedding.
- My aunt (who was supposed to do my hair) decided last minute not to come. Didn't tell me until 2 days before. Nice.
- The justice of the peace couldn't say my name correctly. It's Cynthia not Cythinia. How hard is that?
- My sister refused to let me pee before walking out because "we don't have time it's going to rain any second now" (I held it for 5 hours)
-A storm rolled in a half hour before the wedding. It rained and the Saskatchewan wind blew like crazy for the whole ceremony. It quit as soon as the ceremony was over.
- the wind blew over the arch we stood under just as the JP said I now pronounce you husband and wife.
- I just about fell down the stairs as I came out. Thankfully nobody but me and my dad noticed (my dress got caught in the railing)
- Because of the rain my hair went flat.
- During the reception one of the groomsmen took off to get high. We had to delay the speeches.
- My parents were so exhausted from everything(trying not to piss Adam's mom off, finishing the inside of their house and landscaping) they never really got to enjoy anything. My dad was so exhausted he literally collapsed at home that night.
- my husbands brother's now wife was calling me fat ugly bitch. (she denies this)
-someone crashed the wedding and tried to steal my veil
-between my dad, cousin and brothers giving away so many drink tickets we lost money on the toonie bar. Consequently they were all very drunk
- The hotel we booked at fucked up our reservation and had it for the night before and that night. So when we didn't show up the first night they gave the honeymoon suite away. They had no more rooms.
- There were no other rooms at any hotel except the crackhouse hotel. We stayed there, because I was not sharing a room on my wedding night with 5 other people. (all of my cousins were there)

Now for the things that happened courtesy of the mother in law from hell. Seriously the woman is seven levels of crazy. (sorry Adam, but it's true) And she HATES ME. And my family.
- She was upset that other people (my parents) knew before her we were engaged so,
- she refused to help with a guest list, then bitched when some random friend of hers wasn't invited.
- was VERY upset I never invited her to help me pick my dress.(I'm sorry I have my own mother)
- refused to make the bouquets for the parents and grandparents(it was beneath her)
-told someone that she felt she shouldn't have to pay for anything because my parents are rich enough why should she have to (so I never put her name on the invitations, and she never paid for anything)
-told my sister that she would help with the wedding shower then never did anything, and never even showed up
-the night before our wedding she told us "she doesn't understand how I make her son happy" and "most marriages don't make it to 10 years, so don't expect yours to" hmm she would know (married 3 times)
-got extremely intoxicated the morning of the wedding
-refused to smile in any picture I was in.
- she wore black as a statement.
- refused to be in the hall for our entrance and instead smoked outside and yelled and berated everyone she talked to the whole night.
-was trashing my family to EVERYONE she talked to. even my relatives
-pitched a fit to her own sister because heaven forbid she was talking to my parents.
-refused to do the welcome to the family speech. So I got her ex husband to.
-refused to let her sister and her family sit in the family section
-made Adam late for our first dance because she was yelling at him because..
-there were no pictures of his biological father (whom he met when he was 19) because she wouldn't give my sister any for the slideshow she made
-made my dad late for our dance because she was yelling
-called my mom a whore to my dad (which is funny considering...)
-called my sister a spoiled fucking bitch to my sisters boyfriend
-tried to fight my sister
-in turn I tried to get to her but noone would let me, apparently the bride should refrain from fist fighting. Who knew?
-threw a chair at a pregnant lady
-overturned tables, broke vases, and wrecked my cards from people
-punched her neice in the face and stomach
-threatened to kill her sister
-Adam told her very loudly to leave she told him to shut the fuck up even louder
-Her nephew escorted her out in a headlock
And once she was outside she threw her beer bottle at someone's car for good measure. We never heard from her for months, and she is still waiting for an apology from us about the way she was treated.

After hearing all this the guy looked at me and said "WOW! That would make a good book." To which I replied "Yeah but nobody would believe that this all actually happened." "Yeah you're probably right." he says.

However the people I talk to who were there say "the only thing that really matters is that you got married." And "you looked beautiful, and smiled the whole day." I now look at it this way: at least I will have an interesting story to tell for the rest of my life. However at the time if I had seen her I probably would've kicked the shit out of her. She'll be waiting for that apology for the rest of her life.

DISCLAIMER: this is technically not a picture of Adam on my blog because you cannot see his face. Not that he reads this anyway. So he says.

Also last December she got married to Adam's biological father. We weren't invited. I wonder if she was afraid of something? Revenge maybe? Because I sooo would've lowered myself for that.

Blogger doesn't hate me anymore!

So I don't think I've told you this, but I had decided that Blogger must hate me. My profile views was stuck at 95 for weeks(!), and I checked it everyday twice a day to see if it had went up. No, I'm not obsessive. I'm not. Don't look at me like that. And today, I checked it and it finally says more. You have no idea how excited that just made me. And I think I know the reason, this really awesome person linked to me from her totally cool blog. If I could figure out how to link to hers permanently I would(I'm slightly computer illiterate). Her blog is www.ninepounddictator.blogspot.com. Go check it out. She is awesome. But I guess if I haven't told you this already, then I don't know you, and you probably came here from there. So, welcome. Please stay. I'll try to be funny. I make no promises though.

Anyhow....
Another problem I had with blogger was that it never showed that I had updated on its little "blogs that updated this minute" page. I figure it's because my blog is not cool enough, and I don't have enough profile views. It's like being in high school all over again.
My mom is crazy ya'll, and the bitch crushed my chair too.

Cheap Bastards

So, the people who came to look at our house (3 Fucking times) finally made an offer. And it is a slap in the face. In case you don't know anything about my house here goes: 5 bedroom, 2.5 bathrooms, jacuzzi tub, fireplace, riverfront, fully fenced yard, hot tub, .18 of an acre, detatched garage, carport, oak kitchen cupboards and newer appliances. We are only asking 130,000. Which isn't that bad. And for some reason all the real estate prices are going up. They offered us 121,000. Because they'd like to factor into the price the fact thet they want to put in a wood stove. WTF! why should we pay for them to get wood heat? Thats fucking crazy. I think that because we are young they'd like to try and fuck us over. So I think if they don't come back with something more acceptable we will jack the price and list it with a real estate agent. They were all like well you know we have to figure out a way for this to be mutually aggreeable for us. Maybe if you guys took something you could come down in the price? Because you know we've looked at some houses that are going for like 80,000 (yeah crap with flooding basements) and that would be preferrable. But we really want this house. (so cough it up) Also they had an ad in the paper saying that they were looking to buy a house for 150,000 or less. So they have the money, they just think we're stupid.

Adam and I decided that if we took the hot tub we'd be willing to go down to 128,000. So we'll see. We're in no rush.

The post in which I decide maybe I should go to a gym

RIP, make-up chair. RIP.

St. Patricks Day

So I have this friend (yes I have friends mom) who always sends me these quizzes. And I decided I am bored and have nothing better to do, so I will fill this out for your reading pleasure. Who knows you may just learn something new about me. Unless you are Sarah, in which case you know probably all of this already.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have a scar on my chin from the first time I rode a bike with no hands. I crashed into the side of my house and managed to hit chin first.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Paint. Heehee. seriously though nothing.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE? umm silver and pretty? Oh its a flip phone too.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO? bah, whatevers on. I'm too lazy to switch it usually, so sometimes really weird crap(like the chipmunks. shut up)
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 6:23 pm
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. For my house to sell so I don't have to clean it all the fucking time. Or to travel to Europe for two months so I can really settle down and start my life when I get back because I refuse to do have kids till I've done that.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? My family, friends(shut up I do too have friends), my bedroom at home(oh the closet space....)and also being a teenager (sometimes)
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? my husband heehee
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Nautica cologne, fresh laundry(not fun doing it but), baking and the smell of Costa Rica.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? I never used to think so until one day on my way home from Sarah's house I stopped at the cardlock gas staion to get gas, and had to pee. So I unlocked the bathroom with my card and went in. Only when I went to leave the door would not open and I started freaking the fuck out. I had also left the keys in my car so I was so afraid that it was gonna get stolen and that I would have to explain that to my dad. So yeah. I am
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Sometimes. I scare myself alot watching horror movies and then I can't sleep. Also my dogs would not help me if anyone broke in either while Adams at work. Sissy's.
12. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Well Adam of course. Who else would make me cry? He told me he didn't like my hair red. Meanly.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? Cologne- Nautica Perfume- Poison by Dior
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Short, spiky dark.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT? nowhere, I'm already married. However my origional propsal was not what I had expected. In front of Adams work at 11pm by my car. no ring nothing. Oh well I picked that out the next day...
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS? Energy drinks. My coffee needs too much sugar so it is unhealthy for me.
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Ham and pineapple
18. IF YOU COUD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? my favourite pasta from the pasta factory in penticton. I have the recipe but its still not the same when you have to make it yourself.
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? Again, Adam. Who else? Why? Don't even remember.
20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE? No, but I would love to learn spanish, italian and french(they're all pretty close anyway why not learn them all)
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, NOT FAMILY)? This is sad but in grade 10 my "boyfriend" Dallyn gave me some roses for our anniversary.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? Like? Nah I'm a bitch. I hate everyone.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? you bet. I can put my legs behind my head. Takes some warming up now, but still...oh my thumbs too.
24. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR? I absolutely cannot wait for the new Dodge Challenger to come out because I want it like you wouldn't believe.
25. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Buy them things(just kidding. mostly)
26. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? REDHEADS DUDE
27. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? pathetic but my mom.
28. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? People phoning me to wake me up in the morning with no purpose, just to wake me up. And plenty of other things, too many to list.
29. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Weaknesses? Moi? I have no weaknesses.
30. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Well of course I have.
31. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE? Boobs or maybe something can be done for this JLo booty I've been sporting since I was 12.
32. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? Compliwhat? What the fuck is that? Seriously though? For being so mature and grown up for my age. Lame I know, but there are alot of fuck ups around here that make me look good.
33. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Be soo out of a job. Both me and Adam. Then I would start brewing in my basement.
34. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? a new tattoo, a trip to europe, a new house, oh the list goes on and on.
35. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND SEX? One is alot rougher...
36. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My fucking sisters doll.
37. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yeah, the shooting ones
38. ANY BAD HABITS? Nope, I'm perfect. (lazy, procrastinator, messy)
39. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? bsb
40. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I should fucking hope so.
41. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Yeah, like this one time Sarah told me....JK
42. DO LOOKS MATTER? At first, definately but after a while not so much. You start to see past things.
43. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Yell,cry, blog. Never break things. You eventually have to clean it up anyway.
44. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? My parents house
45. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? yes, but I know that I shouldn't
46. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? I had this doll that when you laid it down it would cry. After a while it would only cry if you shook it. Not the best thing to teach a future mother oh well.
47. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Sarcasm? Never.
48. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? If you don't know them then I most certainly am not telling you. But I do have quite a few.
49. WHO HAS BEEN YOUR FRIEND THE LONGEST? Sarah.
50. ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? Both, but my cat likes me better than the dogs, and he doesnt eat my shoes so....
51. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? my parents
52. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? nothing, stupid cd just quit.
53. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my mom of course
54. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE PREFERRED SEX? looks
55. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG: 3 doors down, here without you or the michelle branch song we had a run in with the law to.
56. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? I honestly cannot think of anything
57. FAVORITE MONTH? July or August cuse they are so warm.
58. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? ER on thursday.
59. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? I'll go for July 31st cause it's my wedding anniversary.
60. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? No, I'm too married to ask someone out.
61. KISSES OR HUGS? Both
62. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships
63. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU? I should hope so.
64. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TELL/ASK SOMEONE (of the opposite sex) RIGHT NOW? You cheap fucker I am not living in a trailer, so fucking get that idea out of your head.
65. WHAT DRIVES YOU NUTS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? They don't understand the things that are most important to us, and they always think they are right, even when they obviously are not.
66. WHO INSPIRES YOU THE MOST? My dad.
67. DOES AN EX-LOVER EVER CROSS YOUR MIND? Yeah, but never anything like oh I wonder if he still loves me, more like I wonder how fat he is now?
68. DID YOU HAVE A FAVORITE CARE BEAR? Probably
69. WHATS THE HARDEST PART OF LETTING GO? Moving on
70. HOW LONG DID YOU TAKE TO FILL THIS OUT? Way too long.


And in case that wasn't enough about me for you here's more....cause I am that bored.

Time started: 10:31
Full Name: Cynthia Anne Prettyfish
Nickname: see above
Single or Taken: Taken
Sex: Female
Birthday: November 16th
Sign:Scorpio
Hair colour: naturally dirty blonde, right now red
Eye colour: crappy stupid brown
Shoe size: 7
Height: 5"7
What are you wearing right now: my pyjamas.
Where do you live: Asscrap village
Righty or lefty: righty
Any pets: 2 dogs, and a cat
Can you make a dollar in change right now: in my purse yes. I get tipped for selling booze in a liquor store.
Who are your closest friends? Sarah, Michelle and Ashallee
Best place to go for a date: here? pick a bar any bar that's all there is
Fav romantic memory: Slow dancing with Adam in the headlights of his truck in my driveway.
Favorite type of pants: comfy fleece ones.
fav. Colour: Deep red
fav. Number: 8
Food: a good steak or pasta
Boys name: Darian Tyler or Tristan James
Girls name: Emilie Marie or Aurora Evelyn
Subject in school: Psychology withLink
Animal: anthing baby
Drink: Coke or Alcohol wise- Sourpuss and sev
Celebrity: Colin Farrell BABY
Sports: hockey
Veggie: sadly its brussell sprouts
Fruit: raspberries
Fast food place: McDonalds
Place to visit: Europe anywhere, not that I've been there but...
Month: July or August
Bands: 3 doors down are always good
Movie: Dirty Dancing or Notebook
Ice Cream: Vanilla
Perfume: Poison by Dior
Cartoon character: Sadly that is a hard question for me as I love cartoons alot.
Have you ever------------------------------------------->>
given anyone a bath: no
Smoked: yes
Bungee jumped: no
Broken the law: why are you a cop?
Made yourself throw-up?: only when i drank to much and needed to feel better
Went skinny dipping: yas I have
Been in the opposite sex's washroom: yeah ladies line is too long when you've had too many to drink.
Eaten a dog biscuit: no ewww
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: nope
Broken a bone: my collar bone when I was 6 years old. Had to stay on the hill with it for the whole day. stupid bitchy teacher
Played truth or dare: yupp who hasn't?
Been in a physical fight: yes, well sorta. I tried to but a helpful person carried me away. apparently she had no confidence in my fighting abilities.
Been in a police car: yes, however I was in the front unlike someone else I know...
Been on a plane: yes.
Come close to dying: I think so, but then again I'm melodramatic.
Been in a sauna: yeah
Been in a hot tub: yeah
Swam in the ocean: yeah, its not as much fun as you'd think. It's quite salty.
Fallen asleep in school: of course
Kissed your cousin: yeah but I was like 4 and he was my best friend and I seen him once a year. i got very upset when we had to leave.
Ran away: yeah, funny enough, up the street to the catholic church. Marie and I were sure we'd never be found there. However if you come home for food all the time it loses the effect.
Broken someone's heart: no I don't think so
Cried when someone died: yeah im not heartless
Wanted someone: YES
Flashed someone: haha yea.
Lied: yeah
Cried in school: yes
Laughed so hard you fell off your chair: YAH !!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: no
saved MSN conversations: no
Saved e-mails: YES
Wished you were someone else:I used to wish I was Marie all the time
Wished you were a member of the opposite sex: no
Fallen for your best friend?: Yeah but he was a guy
Made out with JUST a friend?: yes
Been rejected: quite frequently
Been in love?: yah
Done something you regret?: sure
FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND---------------------------->>
Red: blood
Blue: sky
Autumn: fuck cold
What Is ------------------------------------------>>
Your good luck charm: don't have one
Stupidest thing you have ever done: nothing I'm gonna tell you
Describe ur crush or gf or b/f: COLIN FARRELL! need I say more?
Last thing you ate/drank: strawberry kiwi crystal light
Shampoo you use: silk therapy
Have You Ever Had ------------------------------------------>>
Chicken pox: yea
Sore Throat: yea
Cold: yea, i got it when I was 3 and it hasn't ever went away
stiches: twice
Bloody nose: yes
Surgery: yes
Do you ------------------------------------------>>
Believe in love at first sight: no
Enjoy parks: yup
Like picnics: yup
Like school: nope
Hate anyone: yes and I refuse to say her name because younever know
Would You ------------------------------------------>>
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000:I could never do it
Go to a hanson consert if you had a free ticket: Sadly if I had nothing better to do
Kill someone you didn't know for 15 billion dollars: heck yeah does that make me a bad person?
If you were stuck on an island, what person would you want with you:Colin Farrell I mean Adam
Who is the last person that called you: my mommy
last person you slow danced with: Adam
Makes you laugh the most: Adam
Makes you smile: Adam, Sarah and my mom
what can make you feel better no matter what:i don't know
who has a crush on you: a couple people I know of for sure. I'm the hottest girl in Asscrap Village. So I've been told.
the last person
you touched?: Adam
You hugged? Adam
You Kissed?: adam
yelled at: Adam
Who told you they loved you: Adam
Do you like filling these out: well I have nothing better to do
Do you wear contacts or glasses: I have glasses, but don't wear them. ever.
Do you get along with your family: yep
Do you do drugs: no
Stolen anything over $50: no
Obsessive? no
Anorexic? No, have been accused though in high school. by a teacher
Final Questions ------------------------------------------>>
What are you listening to right now: fishing in the dark (damn random)What makes you happy: Adam, friends and my pets and family of course
What do you like to do: watch tv, read and blog
What did you do yesterday?: worked, cleaned a little and slept in
Career: esthetician, but I am going to take a course in Nursing Unit Clerk
Got any awards: no, I suck at everything
What are you most scared of: never travelling
What car do you wish to have: Dodge Challenger
If you could change anything about yourself what would you change? weight
What was your first car: 91 Doge Daytona
Vegetarian: no way
Good driver: of course, just ask the deer
Good actor/actress: president of the drama club in high school, so yeah I think so
good dancer:as long as I am drunk and so is everyone watching me
Good storyteller: sure
Have a lava lamp:used to
How many remote comtrols are in your house: 8 billion
What do you dream about: travelling
Last time you showered: this moring
The last movie you saw at the theatres: King Kong, i think
Either Or ------------------------------------------>>
Night or Day: night
sun or Rain: sun
Scary or happy movies: whatever
Chocolate or white milk: Chocolate
root beer or Dr.Pepper: dr.pepper
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: jello less dirt
better at talking or listener: depends who it is with
Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla
Skiing or Boarding: neither
summer or winter: summer
Cake or Pie: mm depends
Silver or Gold: platinum HAHA
Diamond or pearl: diamond
Sunset or Sunrise: sunset
Coke or Pepsi: MMM Coke
Sprite or 7up: sprite
Pants or shorts: pants, stupid thighs
Phone or in person: in person, i hate phones
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Middle forgotten one
Fill Out (for girls ONLY)----------------------------->>>
Boxers or briefs: boxer briefs
younger, same age: older
Tall or short: tall
Good or bad guy: a lil of both
Ear peirced or not: not
stubble or neatly shaved: neatly shaved, I have sensitive skin
Studley or cute: studley.. duh i dont want no panty man
Dark or blonde hair: dark
Curly or straight hair: straight
Eye Colour: wahtever
long or short hair: short
Tan or fair: tan
Freckles: nah
Foriegn accent or Canadian: foriegn's hott, mmmm irish
six pack: mmmm
muscular arms: yup
Jewelery or none: no
What do you like the most in a guy:sense of humour
So know you know Everything you could ever want to know about me. Hello. Helloooo. Anyone still here? Didn't think so
Oh well I killed like an hour doing this crap.

GODDAMMIT!

So we got a phone call today (8:45am fuckers) from the people who have been looking at our house. They are coming back on Saturday again and possibly will be making an offer. So I have to fucking clean the house again. I'm really getting sick of this shit. If I have to do one more load of fucking laundry I will break the machine. Also hanging up your clothes is bullshit. You just wear them again and then they wind up in a pile on the floor. What's the damn point? Maybe I'm just lazy. heehee.

So the 8:45 phone call was especially annoying because Adam and I have been staying up till 3am because neither of us can fall asleep right after work. Stupid evening shifts.

Also I've been trying to convince Adam that we should also buy a house in Turkey, because they are cheap and nice and having a summer home would be fuckin awesome. But the chances they are slim, because not only is he cheap, he doesn't like to travel. Have youever seenthe Everybody loves Raymond where they go to Italy? Ray spends the whole time bitching and complaining because nothing is like at home. That would be Adam.

My family is safely back from Cuba now (Fuckers) and the first thing my mom tells me is how Dad and Zak spent the whole time bitching cause it just wasn't right without Adam. WTF! Thanks alot. Nobody missed me though. Just goes to show how my family really feels about me. Well, no its not that bad but still....

Mom, nooooo!

So about a year ago I was back home visiting my family. My mom and I were at their business up in the office listening to the radio. The crappy radio station had been playing short quick clips of songs all by the same artist who was coming to town for a concert.

Me: "Ooh I know, that's 50 Cent." I say to her and she looks at me and smiles.

About an hour later they finally announce for sure who it was coming to town and I was right (of course).

She looks at me and says "Oh, that Fiddy cent guy. He's black ya know." It's funny too cause she actually said Fiddy not Fifty.)

I just about fell over I was laughing so hard. She didn't mean anything by it, she's not racist at all. She just honestly thought that maybe I didn't know. Because maybe, just maybe the gangster rap didn't give it away.

So now everytime one of his songs plays on the radio or we just feel like bugging her someone deadpans out of nowhere "He's black ya know." Or the time she said something about the american christmas. As though it was a different date than ours. She meant american thanksgiving. But that's not the point. "So, how much longer till the americans celebrate christmas?" This is funniest when asked on christmas. But anytime will do.

Oh mom, how I miss you....

Isn't it pretty?

So this is my first ever angel food cake. That I made, all by myself. With whipped cream from scratch and strawberries. Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker aint got shit on me. Just don't notice that I quit pulling down the wallpaper before I got it all off. It was wrecking my nails dammit.

Oh and in case anyone cares the people who came to look at my house on Saturday looooved it even more this time and they took lots of pictures. And complimented my kitchen table and that made me immensely happy. Because my table? Is my pride and joy. So hopefully they will buy my house. So I can buy a new one. One with central heat. Anyhow gotta go sell the booze to the drunks now.

Conversations with Adam

So last night I had a bad dream that Adam died of brain cancer. It was horrible and sad. So I woke him up to tell him what I dreamed and that I was upset.

Me "Honey, I just had a bad dream. I dreamt you died of brain cancer."

Adam "Oh don't worry about that honey, don't you have to have a brain to die of brain cancer?"

After I stopped giggling I felt much better.

***************************************

"Honey, am I still not allowed to post pictures of you on my blog?"

"No. I don't want you using my name either. Refer to me as Big A from now on."

(Big A is actually a nickname of his. That he made up one year, and signed all his xmas presents like that, my dad thought it was so funny. Everyone still calls him that)

***********************************

"So do you write about me in your blog?"

"Sometimes. You just do some of the stupidest things I just have to write about it."

"Well you know, thats why I do stupid things. So you have something to write about."

"Uh-huh" Rolls eyes and walks away.

*********************************

"Get up Cindy, get uuuuuuuup! You can't sleep anymore anyway."

"Well I definitely can't sleep with you jumping on the fucking bed like Peter Pan, now go away."

"I'm Peter. Peter Pan." (in a horrible british accent)

Throws pillows at him. "You're lucky I don't have anything heavy to throw at you."

"Eh, you wouldn't hit me anyway. Your aim sucks."

**************************************

These are all things he's said or done today. Can you imagine what it must be like for me to live with him? Everyday, always just like this. Is it any wonder I'm a little crazy?

What did I do?

Um, so I don't know what I was thinking. I posted a comment over at someone else's blog and now I am afraid that people will come over here to check out the crazy person's site cause I kinda told people to Fuck off (but nicely) if they were just gonna bitch about her spelling. So now I'm afraid I have to put something witty here so maybe they will stay to read the crazy. But, again I don't do well with pressure and I have nothing funny, witty or all that interesting to say today. Fuck! And the skidoo entry wasn't really all that great. Read the drunk post it was funny in a conjointed senseless way. Or the one about my addiction.

So I guess I'll tell you about the anxiety/nervous excitement I have because the people who came to look at our house on Saturday called yesterday. But we weren't here. We were working. So now I'm hoping that they will call back before Adam goes to work. Before they left -after looking at our house, they told us we were on the A list. You have no idea how excited that made me, I've never been on an A list before in my life. For anything. I'm the perfect example of mediocrity in every way. But I hope they buy it. Then we will move and I will get to pick out a new house (not a trailer Sarah, much as it would probably be funny). Because that is fun.

Adam is going away next weekend for a skidoo rally, so I will be all alone for two whole days. Yippee! I will be spending my weekend doing laundry. And maybe packing(a-fuckin-gain). MMMM and sleeping in! Adam is the most freakishly annoying, happy, morning person. I want to kill him for it.

So there is this girl whom I kinda already hate, but pretend to be nice to because, well I don't know. Anyway I gave her gel nails the other day for free, for some stupid reason, and now she's bitching about them. Oh they hurt my nails when they catch something and pull back (well DUH! natural nails do too) and they just feel weird. Well I guess if you don't even try to get used to them it will never get better. So today she asks me how to take them off and I tell her you will have to file them off, and she doesn't believe me. Hi! I am an esthetician, I know what I am talking about. Acetone is NOT the way to take off gel nails. So, I hope she royally fucks up her nails. Bitch.


Anyway that is all I know for today, I apparently fell on my ass for the whole witty, funny, intelligent post I was hoping for. But the pressure it kills my creative funny-ness every time. But LOOK! Be distracted by the french kissing dogs! Caesar: "I am weak! I'm so sorry Katie."
Jenny: "Shut up and kiss me, Bitch"

Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

So this Sat. I did something so out of character for me, that you will almost not believe it. Adam dragged me ski-dooing. We went up a hill called the three sisters. And it was even mildly fun. Which is high praise for me. But now I'm paying for it. My body hurts everywhere. I got up on Sun. for work and almost crawled back into bed. Muscles I didn't even remember I had were screaming in pain (And they were screaming Fuck you Bitch). But at least Adam was sooo very happy that I went with him. I wasn't much good to him though, when we would get stuck. I was carrying so much weight in the backpack that I could barely move. It was full of beer. You know the important things. Good thing there were others along to help him cause I would just roll off the back and lay there until the problem was solved and someone would help me up.

Anyway, that's about all I know for now. Just figured I'd better update before people started to wonder if I was alive. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

DRUUUUUNK

HI y'all. I am DRUNK. It is 2 am and I have been fed free drinks alllllll night. Well since 11pm anyway. when I got off work. I just got home. Clock says it's 2:20. (where did those 20 mins go? Oh right I gave Pony a ride home. And there was a skunk!) And I know I am going to be siiiiiiick tomorrow. I have to spend the whole day(my one day off) cleaning the house because we have someone coming to look at the house on sat. Early too. Fuckers. I got hit on by a guy tonight. A guy with an identical twin. Who also thought I was hot. Second guys girlfriend thought I was hot too. Which was weird. They wanted me to have a foursome (hi Adam, even though you say you don't read this). Which was even weirder. But I am a good married woman. Although I am very drunk for free. But free from the bar not the twins. Anyway, pleases leave me comments for they make me feel special (hi Ashallee my regular commenter). Anyway I think I need to sleep now. but first I will get some water. Peace out bitches. (I love me some bitches). Kisses. Cindy.



***************************************

So today I don't really feel that bad. Not too hungover, but I haven't exactly done anything yet. ....maybe I should get on that. meh. I also woke up this morning to a present from my dogs. They ripped up another fucking blanket. A good one too.

Maybe you guys should not let me drunk blog anymore. I say stupid things. I also don't think I know what is illegal about line four? And yes there was a skunk outside pony's house, but I never got to see it because it moved too quick and I was drunk. Anyhoo...peace out.

Jealousy...

So next week my mom, dad, Marie and Zak are leaving for Cuba. They are going for Zak's sisters wedding. And at this point I will mention we could have gone. If Adam weren't so cheap. So that's a pretty big IF. But recently he was told how much it would've cost for both of us to go ($2200.00 all inclusive. In Cuuuubaaaa). He looked at me and said "why aren't we going?" He also thinks we weren't invited. While having this conversation with him I did resist the urge to punch him in the face. Barely. I think he does this to me on purpose. He knows how much I want to travel, he does not, so I think he waits until it's too late to go and then says things like we should've went too. It's all a big fucking conspiracy.